Alma says that in her family ‘My job was to keep the others free from hurt, physically and sexually’
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Alma gives an account of deprivation, cruelty and abuse that caused her physical injury as well as mental anguish.
She came through the ordeal of her childhood and now focuses on caring for her children and grandchildren. She says ‘I just learned to keep going’.
Alma was born in prison while her mother was serving a sentence. She had several siblings, each by a different father. Some of them were taken into care before she was born, due to neglect. Her mother was involved in prostitution and misused drugs and alcohol.
After she was released, Alma’s mother married Bob. He was an extremely violent and frightening man.
He first sexually abused Alma when she was seven years old. She was using the toilet and she says ‘It happened in there.’ Bob threatened the little girl that if she told anyone, all the children would go into care.
She endured sexual and physical abuse for many years. When she was in her early teens, Bob raped her anally and vaginally, with her mother’s cooperation. After this, Alma attempted to commit suicide.
Alma recalls that when Bob came home from work her mother would send her upstairs to make sure he ‘came down in a good mood and didn’t hurt anyone’. He often insisted that she stayed home from school so he could abuse and assault her. And when her mother went to work in the evening, she says ‘I knew what was coming’.
Alma describes how he used her to fulfil any perverted desire he had, and he described her as ‘damaged goods ... mine forever.’ As she grew up she got a boyfriend but one night when she was with him, Bob dragged her home and beat her. She says ‘no one was allowed to touch me unless it was him’.
She explains that he managed to make a good impression in the local community, and was regarded as a ‘good stepfather’. He took the family on holiday twice a year, but for Alma this meant ‘he could do what he wanted and not just on a Friday and Saturday night’.
When she was in her mid teens, she left home with the man who became her husband. They had children but she was widowed in her 30s.
After that, she says ‘I did what you do, bring your kids up’. But she still suffers from the physical and emotional effects of the abuse she suffered.
She has gynaecological and other health issues, due to injuries sustained during the years of abuse, and she is unable to work. She suffers from nightmares.
Bob died recently. Alma says ‘he’s away from it all now, he’s not suffering, but I can’t get away from it.’
Alma contacted the Truth Project after one of her grandchildren saw a television advertisement and asked a question about child sexual abuse. This made her feel she should share her own experience to try and prevent other children being abused.
Alma would like adults to be vigilant about children who are quiet and withdrawn, or who run away. She adds ‘Every grown up needs to listen … no one listened to me’.