Social services were concerned about Alyx’s foster care, but never asked her if she was ok
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Alyx says ‘I had a rotten childhood’. Placed in care at the age of three, she suffered years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse in her foster home.
Alyx was born in the 1960s and put into foster care when she was very young. She and her sibling lived with foster carers called Phil and Margaret until she was in her mid teens. Margaret was physically and emotionally abusive, and Alyx now knows that at one stage social services intervened to ask her to be more understanding and less strict with the girls. However, they did not ask Alyx how she was and she doesn't remember many visits being made to check on her.
Margaret’s brother, Derek, used to visit regularly and he sexually abused Alyx; she thinks she was about four when this began. He would encourage her to sit on his lap and then touch her. The abuse escalated as she got older and he often found excuses to be on his own with her.
Alyx was not able to speak to anyone, and certainly not her foster carers, about the sexual abuse. She was afraid of being sent to a children's home because she felt this would make her even more ‘different’ at school.
Alyx already found school difficult; she was shy, quiet and felt isolated. She says ‘I didn't fit in … I had no friends’ and she adds that she often had bruises on her and was always hungry.
When Alyx was a young teenager, she managed to stop Derek abusing her by threatening to tell someone. Around this time, Margaret’s husband Phil attempted to sexually abuse her, but she pushed him away.
When Alyx was in her mid teens, the foster carers told her to leave their home. By this time she had a job and she went to live in a bedsit.
As a young adult, Alyx discovered that her sibling had also been sexually abused in the foster home. From social services records, she knows that concerns were raised regarding both children about the care they were receiving, and the harsh regime they lived under.
Alyx feels social services should have done more to protect her and her sibling. ‘We were massively let down by them’ she says.
She says the impact of her childhood has been huge. She has low self-esteem and self-worth. As a young adult she abused alcohol and she finds it difficult to trust people and maintain close relationships. Her physical health has also suffered.
Alyx feels strongly that there should be careful monitoring of local authority placements and when concerns are raised, children should be spoken to on their own. She adds that authorities need to ensure foster carers do their job properly and ‘not just for the money’.
She says that professionals should always follow up concerns and thinks that staff at school should have noticed the bruises and signs of neglect on her and her sibling.