Amelia has made a good life for herself since she was abused, but she would have liked more support
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Amelia says she had a normal childhood, but when she was 14, she and some of her friends began meeting a group of older men who were in their 20s.
She enjoyed the attention of one of them, believing it was a romantic relationship that would lead to marriage. Her mother successfully intervened to stop the abuse.
At first, Amelia used to go to her friend’s house to meet Taheem and his friends, but when the men got a house of their own, she visited him there regularly. He started buying Amelia gifts and she says she saw him as her boyfriend, with whom she had a sexual relationship.
Taheem persuaded Amelia to bring more of her friends to the house, and the men gave them cigarettes and alcohol.
Amelia explains that during this time, she was ‘good’ at school and did not truant. She believes she ‘held the secret well’ and that her behaviour did not change, but she did colour her hair and use make-up in an attempt to look older.
She says that she used to lie to her mother, claiming that she was staying over at her friend’s house. After a while, Amelia’s mother checked this with the friend’s mother, who gave her the location of the men’s house.
Amelia’s mother went to the address, confronted Taheem and warned him to stay away from her daughter. When he didn’t, her mother called the police. By this time, Taheem had been sexually abusing Amelia for about six months.
At first, Amelia says, she did not want to talk to the police. She thought Taheem loved her and they would get married. She packed her bags and was ready to leave home to be with him. But a heart-to-heart talk with her mother made Amelia realise that what was happening was wrong and how much it was distressing her mother.
She decided to give a full account of the sexual abuse to the police, and they arrested several men, including Taheem. He initially denied knowing Amelia and then claimed he did not realise she was only in her early teens. He was found in possession of images of children, including Amelia and given a custodial sentence for multiple offences.
Amelia stresses that she has used her experiences in a positive way and been successful in her studies, but she feels let down by aspects of the process. She was not offered any counselling or support and believes this may be because she appeared to be coping and had a supportive mother.
After speaking with the police Amelia was sent for a medical examination. She found this extremely stressful because the doctor was an older man of similar appearance to the perpetrator, and she feels she should have been given the option of a female doctor.
She would like to see improvements in preparing victims and survivors for the court process, as she feels she was poorly prepared and had a lot of unanswered questions which increased her anxiety.
Amelia says that increased education and awareness-raising in schools about grooming could help prevent other young people being sexually abused. She thinks that if someone who had been through a similar situation had talked to her about it, she might not have become involved.