Aneira says that children who are abused ‘lose their childhood and the person they could have been’
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For as far back as she can remember, Aneira was afraid of her father.
He started sexually abusing her when she was about six years old.
Aneira describes growing up in a large family with only one bedroom. She says she has ‘snippets of memories’ that include being in pain when she went to the toilet.
She remembers her father telling her to squeeze his genitals, and she recalls the feeling of weight on top of her.
One of Aneira’s brothers also sexually abused her, and tried to get a younger brother to do the same. She says she felt unable to tell her mum, and had to ‘deal with it’ herself.
Aneira’s father told her that if she said anything about what he did, ‘they would take her away’. She says it was only when she went to secondary school that she realised ‘this didn’t happen in most families’.
Her father stopped abusing her when she was 13, because she threatened to disclose it. She did tell her mother about the abuse, but not for another four years. Her mother cried and said she believed Aneira.
Aneira was sent to stay with relatives. At first, she thought it was because her mum didn't want her, but she realised later she was protecting her.
Looking back, Aneira thinks that staff at her school should have known there was something wrong. She was very underweight, and always fearful. She remembers not wanting to take her clothes off when the school nurse weighed her.
She also recalls the family doctor visiting their home and giving her father ‘a good talking to’ about domestically abusing his wife. She thinks he should have seen how frail and frightened she was.
Aneira has suffered over the years with PTSD, flashbacks, poor sleep and an eating disorder.
She says that staff in schools and doctors need to be trained to recognise the signs of trauma in young children, and she thinks that art therapy should be offered to children to help them to express themselves.
Aneira has had therapy for many years that she has found very helpful. She finds comfort in writing and focusing on the good things in her life, including her daughter.