On Anthony’s first day at grammar school he was singled out for grooming by a teacher
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Anthony was looking forward to starting secondary education. He was the first person in his family to go to grammar school. He describes himself at that age as ‘fairly shy’ and someone who felt more comfortable with adults than his own peer group.
On his first day, the form tutor, Mr L, put Anthony on a desk at the front of the class and made him form captain. Anthony says he felt uncomfortable about this at the time, and looking back, he can see what a deliberate action it was.
Mr L spent a lot of time talking to Anthony and they became close. One day the form tutor gave Anthony a lift into town and took a detour to his house on the way. Nothing happened on this occasion but again, Anthony now realises it was part of the grooming process.
Some time later, Mr L offered to pay a group of boys to do some gardening for him. Over the following months the other boys began to resent the favouritism that the teacher showed Anthony, and began to bully him.
Mr L knew Anthony was interested in media and computers and he offered to take him to see a friend, John, who worked for a television company. Anthony says John was an incredibly powerful person and he was ‘awestruck’ to meet him.
Mr L continued showing a particular interest in Anthony, giving him private IT lessons at his house and lifts home from school.
The tutor was setting up a business, and towards the end of Anthony’s second year at grammar school Mr L invited him to his house to assist with some administration work. Anthony stayed for dinner afterwards and Mr L gave him alcohol to drink.
By the time he was in his early teens Anthony was spending more and more time with the teacher. Anthony recalls that they talked about lots of subjects, and Mr L started telling Anthony how much he liked him.
One day, the teacher told Anthony he had a friend who would pay a considerable sum of money for a video of the schoolboy defecating. Anthony says he ‘went along with it’ – as a schoolboy he liked the idea of the large amount of cash. The following week he was asked to do another video.
He began to suspect the videos were for Mr L, not his ‘friend’ and when Anthony questioned the teacher, he admitted this was true.
The videotaping continued with Mr L making more demands. The teacher masturbated behind Anthony while he defecated, sometimes fondling him. He used restraints on the pupil and left him tied up on the bed for hours.
When Anthony was in his mid teens, Mr L took him on a canal trip. Another teacher was present who was part of Mr L’s circle of friends. Anthony returned to the boat very drunk and woke to find this teacher sexually assaulting him. He recalls that the assault continued for a couple of hours.
A few months later he was invited to visit John at the television company again. He stayed in John’s house and on the third night there, John violently raped him. Anthony says he was ‘mortified’ and he didn’t mention this, or the assault on the boat to Mr L. He says he felt he was ‘culpable’ for the abuse he had suffered.
After, Mr L left teaching to run a business. Anthony worked for him until he was nearly 17. He says at this time he realised Mr L was ‘leaning towards other, younger boys’ and the sexual side of the relationship stopped.
He adds that they ‘remained friends’ for about five more years. During this time, he says, the ex-teacher was openly grooming young boys from the neighbourhood and was eventually forced out of area.
Anthony relates that it has taken him many years to realise that what he was subjected to by Mr L and his friends was grooming and abuse – at the time, he says, he felt he was in a loving relationship with the teacher.
The abuse has had a massive impact on his life, including mental health problems, drug and alcohol abuse and self-harm. He has had PTSD, attempted suicide and has found it difficult to work. But again, he did not realise for many years that these issues were related to the sexual abuse he suffered as a child.
Anthony would like victims and survivors of child sexual abuse to have better and faster access to therapy, to help them cope with ‘the trauma they carry every day’.