Anton says ‘the welfare of children must be given precedence over the institutions of church and state’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Anton grew up in the 1970s. He had a difficult family life: his father was an alcoholic and his mother was disabled, and they were very short of money.
His parents were keen for him to be involved in the community through the church and local Scout groups but this exposed him to inappropriate and abusive behaviour on many occasions.
Anton says he has tried to understand why his parents were seemingly unaware of much that was going on around them, and he guesses that they felt their involvement with the church helped them to be seen as ‘a good family’ despite their impoverished circumstances.
He recalls two priests at church whose behaviour was a ‘bit strange’. One who would make it obvious he wasn’t wearing any underwear under his cassock and another who would watch the altar boys changing in the vestry. He believes that later, one was defrocked and the other arrested.
On a Scouting trip overseas he witnessed a child being sexually abused by one of the leaders while he slept. He recalls that the child woke up and ‘went mad’ but the leader was exonerated and the child punished.
Anton was himself sexually abused on a coach trip by a church guide called Mr A. He feels he was targeted because it was known that his father was an alcoholic. He also comments that his experiences conditioned him to the idea that children did not have the right to challenge this sort of behaviour.
When Anton gained a place in a church grammar school his parents were delighted, but it was not a good experience for him. Mr A was still abusing him – sometimes this was ‘quite severe’. His attendance suffered and he often had suicidal thoughts.
Over two to three years Mr A would turn up in a brand new car and take Anton to his house and ‘show him off’ to his friends. Anton describes them as establishment figures and people in the church. He says that Mr A’s behaviour was seen as acceptable and he remembers being relieved that Mr A concentrated his attention on him rather than his younger brother.
It was not until Anton was in his early 20s that he spoke about the abuse he suffered. He realised that others had been affected and wanted to do something to help. He was told the perpetrators had just been moved to other parishes and nothing could be done.
Anton has tried to report some of the abusers to the police. He says that some of them still have access to vulnerable people and he feels a lot of anger towards them. He gave evidence in a court case about one, but the abuser was acquitted because the witnesses couldn’t pin down dates accurately.
Nonetheless, he says he is glad he went through the process, even though the outcome was disappointing.
Anton says that he never stops thinking about the past but he has found coping mechanisms.
He strongly believes that the welfare of children is more important than institutions and should always be the priority. He comments that the abuse that occurs within the church is ‘a volcano waiting to erupt’.
Anton feels concerned that the poor, young and vulnerable are ‘powerless and fall through the gaps’ and he worries about the victims of trafficking and slavery.