Arlo feels that the sexual abuse he endured was not taken seriously because the perpetrator was female
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
During his childhood, Arlo was intermittently in care because he was neglected and emotionally and physically abused by his mother.
He was groomed and sexually abused by a female staff member at a children’s home, but feels that because of the circumstances, the case was not taken seriously.
Arlo lived in the children’s home for about a year, and the sexual abuse took place over six months when he was in his mid teens. Another member of staff reported the abusive relationship to the management at the time and it was referred to social services. An investigation was carried out but no further action was taken.
Following the investigation, Arlo was moved from the home but the member of staff continued to work there. He was given unsuitable alternative accommodation with no support, and he remembers feeling that he was the one at fault and had been punished. His attendance and achievement at school went downhill and his mental health deteriorated to the point where he made an attempt on his life. Arlo was aware that the perpetrator continued working in the children’s home after the investigation.
He says that initially he didn’t perceive the relationship as abusive, but in hindsight he realised that he was abused by an individual in a position of trust.
Arlo feels angry that the social workers did not take the case more seriously. He feels they took no account of the difficult childhood he had experienced and the lack of support he had from anyone else in his life.
He says it was clear they did not identify it as a child protection issue, but made assumptions about the abuse based on his background, and the fact that he was male and the perpetrator was female.
Arlo has since reported the case to the police but no action was taken. He believes this is because they considered that he consented to the sexual relationship.
He still feels very let down by the services he came into contact with during his childhood. His mental health has been poor throughout his adult life. He describes a lack of concentration and difficulties with being active and engaged in his life.
Arlo would like to see more transparency from social services when complaints are made. He believes that any investigation into child abuse should be undertaken by an external agency to ensure it is impartial and honest.