Bennie says the Jehovah’s Witness church should reform the way it deals with child sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Bennie was brought up in a Jehovah’s Witness family.
He was sexually abused by two family members but when he told the church elders, they blamed him.
Bennie lived with his parents and siblings. He describes their family life as ‘very sheltered’. He and his siblings were discouraged from mixing with children who were not Jehovah’s Witnesses and their lives centred around religion – attending several meetings each week and going out ‘door knocking’.
He thinks he was about four or five years old when his older sibling began to sexually and physically abuse him. The abuse went on for about eight years, and he says that because it started when he was so young, he grew up thinking it was normal behaviour and a way that ‘people showed they loved each other’.
The abuse by his sibling ended when they left home and married someone who was not a Jehovah’s Witness. Bennie says he was sad when they left because ‘I thought I loved [them]’. He adds that his father was stripped of his status as an elder in the church because of the marriage.
After this sibling left, another older sibling began to sexually abuse Bennie. Bennie thinks that the sibling who was abusing him may have been sexually abusing this sibling.
The family moved several times, each time to a smaller house. He thinks this may have been so his father could give more money to the church. The frequent moves led to him being isolated from his peers and bullied.
In his teens Bennie began to drink alcohol and he says he became addicted to pornography. Around this time he told his parents about the sexual abuse by his siblings, but they dismissed it as ‘just sexual experimentation’.
He then told the Jehovah’s Witness elders, but, he says, ‘I was judged on my actions, rather than the cause of my actions’. The sexual abuse by his sibling continued for about two years, until they left home.
Bennie describes the significant impact the abuse has had on his life. He has mental health problems and has difficulty with relationships. He has had some treatment, including therapy, but says ‘I am still trying to cope with the monster in my head’.
He is dismayed at the way that the Jehovah’s Witness church deals with allegations of child sexual abuse, particularly the ‘two witness rule’. He points out it is unlikely there would be witnesses to child sexual abuse and he thinks the system needs reforming, with independent people involved, and support for children.
He adds that elders should be held accountable for their actions and punished if they fail to protect children.
Bennie would also like to see more services provided for victims and survivors.