Blanca says the church she was a member of tried to cover up sexual abuse she experienced by another member
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Blanca was sexually abused by a member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
She describes the additional pain and trauma of being ostracised by almost everyone she knew when she reported the abuse.
Blanca was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. ‘I had a strict upbringing’ she says.
When she was growing up, her parents were particularly close to another couple in the church, Joey and his wife. This couple often visited Blanca’s home.
When she was about nine or 10 years old, Joey began sexually abusing Blanca. When he visited, he would come upstairs on the pretext of using the bathroom, and would enter her bedroom and sexually assault her.
She says ‘I would pretend to be asleep’. She doesn’t know exactly how many times this happened, or when or why the abuse stopped.
Blanca did not tell anyone at the time of the abuse. She says ‘I was raised to be seen and not heard … my dad was overbearing and mum was very staunch in her faith’.
When she was in her late teens, Blanca got engaged. Around this time, she remembers waking up one morning thinking about Joey and realising ‘He shouldn’t have done that’.
She told her fiancé, and she told her parents about the abuse. Her dad said he would ‘deal with it’.
A while later, Blanca’s dad told her he had spoken to a church elder. He then said to her ‘You know [Joey and his wife] have had some problems and you wouldn’t want to upset them. So I think it’s best we leave it’.
Blanca says that she loved Joey’s wife and didn’t want to upset her. ‘I was young and naive’ she says. ‘At the time, I didn’t realise it was wrong that he was shifting the responsibility on to me.’
Some time later, she heard that Joey had moved to another congregation and was working with young children.
She relates ‘At that point I became concerned; I had children by then and I thought I’ve got to say something’.
Blanca approached the elders in her congregation. After waiting for a response, she got the impression they were avoiding her, and the issue. She says ‘I remember feeling they were closing ranks and wanted it to go away’.
She adds that one of the senior church men said to her ‘Be careful you are not doing the devil’s work’.
Even though she found their response frustrating, it never entered Blanca’s head to go to the police. ‘We don’t do anything to bring God’s name into disrepute’ she says.
Soon after, she heard that other women had had similar experiences with Joey. Concerned about the children Joey had contact with, Blanca got in touch with social services. They said they would ‘keep an eye’ on it, but took no action.
After this, Blanca pushed the Jehovah’s Witness elders about her case, and a hearing was set up. A number of elders, Joey and his wife were allowed to question Blanca.
Other individuals gave evidence to support Blanca’s allegation, but the elders announced that no action would be taken, because Blanca’s memories were not reliable.
She continues ‘At the end they wanted us to pray together with Joey and his wife. I got up and walked out’. Later, Joey demanded an apology from Blanca. Blanca’s husband supported her in her allegations and because of this he was criticised by the elders for ‘showing poor judgement’.
Blanca and her husband left the Jehovah’s Witnesses. This was a very difficult time for her because their lives had previously revolved completely around the church, and they were cut off by family and friends.
She says ‘When we left I remember feeling we had lost all our support structures and friendships. We’ve left this thing but we don’t know how to live outside it’.
For a time she drank heavily. She found it particularly painful that members of her family rejected her, and she felt suicidal at times. ‘This is the price I paid ... I am rejected’ she says.
However, Blanca feels sure that she and her husband did the right thing, particularly for their children. She says ‘Our children are free, but they spent their formative years in that environment. I feel we got them out just in time. My grandchildren are completely free’.
She comments that there is a lack of education among Jehovah’s Witnesses. ‘Everything was about the church.’
Blanca feels strongly that elders and other leaders from all religions may be qualified to teach doctrine, but they are not fit people to deal with criminal offences against children. She says ‘They should not be allowed to deal with it in-house’ and believes that it should be mandatory to report child sexual abuse.
She also feels angry about what she considers spiritual abuse.
Although she says she is ‘anti all religions’ she has recovered her personal faith in God. She adds ‘My husband is a good man … the one decent thing to come out of that place’.