For years, Brody felt his abuse was not ‘terrible’ but says ‘it’s had a really big impact actually’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Brody was a bright child, and his parents were delighted when one of his teachers singled him out for praise and attention.
Because of their feelings, he was bewildered when this man sexually abused him, and powerless to tell them what was really happening.
Brody was considered to be a ‘star pupil’ at his primary school and one of his teachers, Mr Black, gave him special attention. Brody’s parents were full of praise for this ‘inspirational’ teacher, who seemed to be nurturing their son’s talents.
Mr Black also took Brody’s form for PE lessons, and he would tell them to stay in their shorts when they went back to the classroom. He made a point of coming to Brody’s desk to mark his work, and he began putting his hand into the boy’s shorts and touching his buttocks and anus. Brody says this happened regularly, and ‘in plain sight’.
He did not really understand what was happening but thought it was ‘weird’. He also felt very confused because his parents had such a good opinion of the teacher, but the situation was difficult and embarrassing for him. Brody adds that he felt under pressure to do well and this made it even more impossible for him to tell his parents about the abuse.
The abuse ended when he went to secondary school, but when rumours began spreading about Mr Black, Brody’s parents asked him if the teacher had ever touched him. Brody says he denied it because he was sure his father would react violently and possibly get into serious trouble. He explains that he grew up in an environment where ‘men were men’ and talking about things such as abuse would seem like an ‘affront to their masculinity’.
Brody was very uncomfortable, years later, when he discovered from social media that other boys at his school had also been abused by Mr Black. He says for a long time, the abuse made him feel powerless, and he still feels angry and upset about it. He feels he minimised it because he wasn’t raped.
He feels strongly that the stigma and shame associated with child sexual abuse needs to be destroyed, especially in working class communities. He says this could begin with talking about the subject in schools. When he was at school in the 1970s, he says, there was education about ‘stranger danger’, but nothing about the possible danger from adults who were known to children. They were often simply dismissed as ‘dirty old men’.
Brody feels that men, some of whom are in danger of committing suicide following child sexual abuse, would benefit from talking to other men who have also experienced abuse. He has recently started therapy.
He is distressed at the thought of other people suffering from abuse, and this prompted him to talk to the Truth Project. He feels now that just being able to voice what happened to him ‘would help me to feel I’d done something’ and that lessons might be learned.