Caleb’s stepfather intimidated him to stop him reporting the sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Caleb’s father left the family home, and his mother had four more children with another partner.
One of this man’s relatives sexually abused Caleb.
Caleb says his stepfather, Stan, always treated him differently to his half brothers and sisters. They all got presents at Christmas and birthdays but Caleb would receive nothing. Stan would also take Caleb’s earnings from his paper round.
Stan was violent towards Caleb, especially when he was drunk, which was often. Stan regularly hit him and gave him black eyes, broke his wrist and his foot, and pulled out clumps of his hair.
Caleb’s mum knew about this violent abuse but was unable to protect her son. She too was beaten by Stan. Police and social services were constantly involved with the family.
When Caleb was about 12, the family went on holiday. Stan’s uncle, Reg, came along too and Caleb had to share a room with him. Reg sexually abused Caleb, pulling his trousers down and ‘doing things’ to him.
Reg had more opportunities to sexually abuse Caleb when the family went to stay at his house. This continued for about eight years, and included oral and anal rape. Caleb remembers being pinned down by him. To try to protect himself, he would keep his clothes on in bed.
A friend of Caleb’s once witnessed Reg abusing him and told a teacher at his school. This teacher had concerns about Caleb because his behaviour had changed at school, and she contacted the police.
They interviewed Caleb, but after this, Stan raped Caleb’s mum in front of him. Caleb was so intimidated by this, he went back to the police to say that he couldn’t go through with the complaint any longer.
Stan continued to verbally and physically abuse Caleb, until the police and social services removed him from the house.
Caleb knows he missed out on so much and he sums up the effects of the terrible abuse he suffered, saying ‘This has taken my childhood away from me’.
Stan would not give consent for him to attend sex education lessons at school and he thinks if he had been allowed to go ‘I would have been more aware of what Stan was doing was wrong’.
He emphasises how important it is to listen to children and make sure they feel safe to speak out.