Cally

Cally grew up in a middle class family and felt a lot of pressure to be successful. 

She says the damage to the family reputation if she told anyone she was being sexually abused was a threat she had to take seriously.

Cally describes herself as a ‘precocious, independent child’ with not many friends. There was a lot of bullying at her school but her parents simply told her to ‘push through’.

Cally started learning a musical instrument when she was very young. When she was 12 years old, she began having lessons with a new, female teacher who was highly recommended.

Right from the beginning, Cally says, the music teacher emphasised that she was Cally’s ‘friend’. She continues ‘The abuse started slowly’, and describes how the teacher would physically correct her posture and sit behind her with her legs straddling Cally while she played. ‘I didn’t like it … she was too touchy-feely’ says Cally.

This abuse continued for about two years, then when Cally was in her early teens, she went to a party where her music teacher was also a guest. Cally got drunk and passed out, and woke to find the teacher performing oral sex on her. She says ‘I was terrified and said nothing’.

After this incident, the teacher continued sexually abusing Cally at music lessons, kissing and fondling her and forcing oral sex on her. She once raped Cally with an object. 

The teacher told Cally that her parents would disown her if they found out she was ‘a dyke’. Cally says her parents were prominent members of their community and she was far too worried about their reaction if she told them. 

The abuse ended when Cally went to university. She is still affected by it, and says that she finds it hard to trust and be close to people, especially women. She loves music, but cannot bear to play an instrument anymore. She adds that she now feels ‘ridiculous’ for not having spoken out about the abuse.

Cally has a supportive partner, and she is having therapy which helps her to cope with her experiences as a child and young person.