Carly says there needs to be more awareness of sexual abuse between children
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Carly was sexually abused by a boy who was himself very young.
When her parents spoke to school staff about it, they refused to take it seriously.
Carly was four years old when she was sexually abused by another pupil at her school – a seven-year-old boy.
The abuse happened nearly every day for several months and the boy made her touch, kiss and lick his genitals and anal area. He used threats to control her, threatening to hurt her family if she didn’t do what he demanded. He also told her that everyone would think she was ‘dirty’ if they found out about it.
Carly says that her parents were very open and always encouraged her to talk about things, but she remembers being frightened that her family might be hurt by the boy.
However, Carly now knows that her mother noticed changes in her behaviour, including the fact that she didn’t want to undress or bathe. Her mother gently found out what was happening, allowing Carly to show her with a doll.
Carly’s parents immediately reported the abuse to the class teacher, who said it was just ‘children’s curiosity’ and that both the children would soon forget about it. Her parents went to the headteacher, who admitted that there had been a previous similar incident with this boy and another girl.
The school kept Carly and the boy apart after this, but her parents decided to move her to another school. She says they decided not to report the abuse to the police as they feared that Carly would not be believed and were worried about the effect that reliving it might have on her.
Carly explained the impact of the sexual abuse on her, saying that she has suffered from severe depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. She has negative feelings about her body and found attachments and intimacy very difficult, although she has now had therapy to help her with this.
She adds that she has difficulty relating to children, and she feels anger and resentment.
Carly believes that there needs to be more awareness of child sexual abuse between peers, and there should be better training in institutions about it. She would also like to see age-appropriate sex education for children from nursery school age, and improved support for parents of sexually abused children.