The man who sexually abused Carwyn was wealthy but did jobs to give him contact with children
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
When Carwyn and his family were at a holiday camp, they were befriended by a man who was working there as a chef.
He turned out to be a very wealthy man who owned a huge house full of expensive gadgets and toys. He used these attractions to lure in young children for sexual abuse.
Carwyn was six years old when he went on holiday with his parents and brothers. On the first evening, the chef, Ioan, took the boys on a tour of the kitchen and gave them some souvenirs. He continued to take a special interest in the family for the rest of their break.
When Carwyn’s family were leaving, his parents swapped numbers with Ioan and they stayed in touch. Ioan began inviting the family to his house. Carwyn describes it as a mansion, with ‘everything a child could want’.
His family were not well off and Ioan offered the children activities and opportunities they could not afford. At first, Carwyn’s parents were invited to Ioan’s house, but as time went on, just Carwyn and his brother were asked to visit. The boys were invited to stay for weeks at a time and Carwyn remembers how ‘spoilt’ he felt.
Carwyn was 11 years old when Ioan first sexually abused him. He does not remember exactly how it began but he recalls that it followed a period of Ioan singling him out for special treatment. Ioan would abuse the young boy in his car and Carwyn remembers that he did not know what to do or say. He also recalls that Ioan implied that he, Carwyn, was instigating the abuse.
Ioan continued grooming the family and abusing Carwyn for about a year. He often arrived unexpectedly at the family home with tickets for shows for Carwyn and his brother.
Carwyn says his brother was a boisterous child and would have ‘kicked off’ if anything had happened to him, and he does not think he was abused by Ioan.
He remembers how much he hated sleeping in Ioan’s room but on one occasion when he tried to refuse, Ioan threatened that he would hurt his brother. Carwyn felt he had a choice between being raped or letting his brother be killed.
The abuse ended when Ioan was put on trial for the sexual abuse of several boys. During the trial he still wanted Carwyn to stay in his house, and became furious when Carwyn told him that his mother had told him to say no.
Ioan received a long period of imprisonment for multiple counts of sexual abuse and rape. After this, Carwyn reported at his school what had happened to him. A report was made to the police, but not proceeded with as Ioan was already in prison.
As well as working as a chef, the wealthy perpetrator had other jobs which brought him in contact with children.
Carwyn wonders if Ioan’s wife and children knew about the abuse, as they were in the house when it happened.
He says his school life suffered due to the abuse. He was excluded many times because of his behaviour, which he now knows was his way of coping and surviving. His experiences also affected the way he felt about his sexuality when he was growing up.
He says that when his parents found out about the abuse, they were distraught. He has never spoken to his father about it but he and his mother have had counselling. He uses humour as a way of dealing with what happened to him, and comments ‘I have learnt to try and brush it off …but it’s always there…’.
He hopes that by sharing his experiences with the Truth Project he may be able to help others.