Charlie wants people to be aware that sexual abuse can occur anywhere that men have access to children
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
As a child Charlie had a hobby he loved.
But this put him in contact with a group of adult men who used their power to sexually abuse him and other boys.
Charlie loved trains and when he was about 11 years old, he joined a railway society. He would spend weekends at the clubhouse, sleeping over along with other enthusiasts. ‘This became my life for five or six years’ he says.
Many of the other members were middle-aged males and they would take Charlie to the nearby pub and buy him beer. It was the 1970s, and he says that the landlord allowed this. ‘I was in a man’s world and it was really exciting’ he says.
After a couple of years, Charlie was allowed to show visitors to the railway society around buildings where train parts were stored. One day a visitor called Joe, a man in his 60s, asked Charlie to show him around. They entered a building where they were alone. Joe unzipped Charlie’s trousers and masturbated him until he ejaculated.
Charlie says this was his first ever sexual experience. He adds ‘He was quite forceful and he was much bigger than me’.
He describes how conflicted this sexual abuse made him feel. ‘The emotions were mixed because something told me this was totally wrong’ he says, but he also felt pleasure during the abuse.
Charlie was keen to get out of the building and Joe continued the tour as if nothing had happened. Charlie remembers feeling frightened and vulnerable as he continued showing Joe round.
After the tour was finished, Charlie never saw Joe again, but he was subjected to sexual abuse on several more occasions by adult males at the railway society. He describes how some individuals ‘tried it on’ with him, but he rejected their advances.
There were other boys about the same age as Charlie, who were also regulars at the society. On overnight stays, a group of men would show pornographic films and encourage the boys to watch them. Charlie remembers that the older men seemed to enjoy watching the boys’ reaction to the films.
‘No one said, is this suitable for children? The atmosphere was “This is a laugh”’ he relates.
Charlie recalls that the older men also carried out ‘initiation ceremonies’ on the young boys that involved physical abuse. ‘It was part of the culture of the day … no one saw it as wrong’.
Following the abuse, Charlie says he became confused about his sexuality, and he was highly disruptive at school. He was bright, but he left school with just one O-level.
However, in his adult life he returned to academic study and achieved significant success.
In his late teens and early 20s, Charlie says he became obsessed with sex and had sex with as many women as he could.
Charlie describes himself as acting out ‘extreme sexual behaviour’ as an adult, and he says this is ‘exhausting and distracting’. He is concerned that his behaviour was triggered by the abuse he was subjected to as a child. He has had ideations of dramatic deaths.
His marriage broke down.
Charlie would like society to be aware that abuse can occur wherever the opportunity presents, and the focus should not just be on large institutions.
He says ‘We have institutions like churches and football clubs where men have power and can use it to sexually abuse boys. But I dealt with none of those institutions, but the men still sexually abused young boys. The focus should be anywhere where men are in the same rooms as young boys’.