If Cheryl wanted permission to go out, she had to let her stepfather sexually abuse her
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Years after Cheryl was sexually abused by her stepfather, the police launched an investigation when another victim came forward.
A poorly judged remark by a police officer made Cheryl fear that she would be thought of as a potential abuser, and her children would be taken away.
Cheryl’s parents separated and her mother remarried when she and her sibling were young.
When Cheryl was about six years old, her stepfather, Lloyd, began to sexually abuse her.
By the time she was in her early teens, he would persuade her to stay at home instead of going to school. Up until then her attendance had been good, but no one questioned why she was frequently absent.
She also started to self-harm, but again, no questions were asked.
Cheryl felt she was a ‘toy’ for Lloyd. If she wanted to be allowed to go out with friends, she would have to ‘do stuff’ with him.
She says ‘I was a child prostitute … I let him do things so that I could go to town or have money. He would ground me, not let me go out, I had to earn money from him’.
Cheryl says that visiting her natural father would have been an escape for her, but his wife made it clear she didn’t like Cheryl or her sibling, and would hit them.
Lloyd continued abusing her for a number of years. By the time she was in her mid teens, Cheryl had a boyfriend. Lloyd tried to stop the relationship but she left home and married her boyfriend.
A few years later, Cheryl’s sibling reported Lloyd to the police for sexually abusing them. This had started after Cheryl left home. A police officer remarked to Cheryl ‘Sixty-five per cent of the abused turn out to be abusers’.
For some time after, Cheryl was terrified that her children would be taken away from her because of this, but she did eventually manage to provide a written statement about Lloyd, and he was given a prison sentence.
Cheryl has suffered with her mental health and has attempted suicide. She says she feels isolated and lonely at times, and over the years has not wanted to ‘look good’ in case that would draw attention to herself.
She has made sure her own children have been loved, encouraged and supported by her and their father. She feels that caring for her family and working long hours kept her busy and numbed her memories of childhood.
Cheryl has had some support from mental health services, but feels that now her children have grown up and left home she can consider putting her own needs first and she would like more therapy.
She has begun a distance learning degree course and enjoys spending time with her grandchildren.