Cheston says ‘I had no one to talk to … I just wish Childline had been available at the time’
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Cheston was emotionally blackmailed, manipulated and sexually abused by a teacher at his boarding school.
He was in such distress he tried to kill himself in front of the teacher, but this did not stop the abuse.
During the 1970s, Cheston attended a small boarding school ‘in the middle of nowhere’. The school allowed a great deal of unsupervised one-to-one contact between teachers and pupils. This included outdoor activities and trips run by a master called Paul.
Cheston was among a small group of boys who was taken on these trips. Paul encouraged them to drink alcohol even though they were underage.
The first time that Paul sexually abused Cheston was on a trip away where the accommodation was in rooms in a pub. Cheston says that Paul ‘ordered lots of wine’.
The other boys were put together, but Cheston was allocated a room with Paul. The teacher came and sat on Cheston’s bed and tried to touch him. Cheston was in his mid teens at the time.
Cheston says ‘I recoiled, but he made me feel guilty, then he abused me’. He thinks it only happened once on that trip.
After this, Paul appointed Cheston ‘deputy leader’ of expeditions. Over the following two years, there were lots more trips. Sometimes they stayed in hotels, other times they shared a tent, and Cheston says that Paul abused him on nearly all these occasions.
He says the abuse never happened at school.
Cheston says that looking back, ‘I think it was a classic case of grooming. I was a naive teenager, and was flattered to be treated as special’.
He explains that an example of this was that Paul would exaggerate his talents in certain subjects, and give him opportunities that he thinks in hindsight should have gone to other boys.
‘I was getting increasingly unhappy with the abuse’ he says, and describes a confrontation that occurred between him and the teacher on a trip abroad. There was a heated argument between them after Cheston resisted abuse by Paul.
Cheston continues ‘He pretty much forced me into the car to send me back home on my own’. On the drive to the station, Cheston tried to cause an accident. He says it was a suicide attempt but he thinks that more than anything he wanted to stop the trip so there would be no more abuse.
However, Cheston says he did not go home because ‘I would have had to explain why to my parents, and I couldn’t face that’.
During Cheston’s final year at school, Paul continued to manipulate and abuse him. He had what he describes as ‘a mini-breakdown’ and he left.
He went to university and says that he tried to put the abuse behind him. He married young, in what he says was a desperate attempt to prove he was ‘normal’.
He feels concerned that Paul abused other boys. ‘I would find it hard to believe I was his last victim.’
Cheston feels passionately that confidential telephone helplines such as Childline are a vital source of support.
He adds that staff in schools must be observant, and safeguarding must be applied rigorously. In his case, there were lots of ‘red flags’ regarding the time he spent with Paul, but these were ignored.
He finds comfort in his faith. He says ‘I never forgave Paul for what he did to me but I came to accept it happened through no fault of my own’.