It took Clara many years to stop feeling responsible for the abuse she suffered
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Clara lived with her sibling, her mum and her mum’s partner.
Her stepfather sexually abused her. Social services were involved with the family but did not see the signs.
Clara’s mother and stepfather were both violent, and he had mental health issues. The family moved frequently, and by the time Clara was in her early teens they lived in a very remote location.
Clara’s stepfather began sexually abusing her when she was about six. She says the abuse escalated as she got older and his mental health deteriorated. For a time he was sectioned and when he returned home, he raped her. She was 12 years old.
Soon after this, her mother became pregnant by another man and separated from Clara’s stepfather, but he continued to try and make contact with Clara.
Social services were involved with Clara’s family because her younger brother had support needs. However, they took no interest in the family beyond this.
She was never spoken to alone by anyone in authority or any professional, even though she self-harmed and attempted suicide as a teenager.
She felt she had no control over anything and no one to confide in.
Clara has suffered from flashbacks for many years. She has difficulties with intimacy, trust and her sexuality. She had therapy, which has helped her understand it was not her fault she was sexually abused.
She feels it is important to take opportunities to talk to children if any signs of possible abuse are observed, without family members present. Schools should explore the reasons for children’s behaviour and communication between different agencies should be improved.
She now has a job where she can use her own experiences to support the work she does.