Delta wants children and adults to be believed when they disclose childhood sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Delta has a disability and spent some of her childhood and adolescence in residential institutions.
She was subjected to different forms of abuse, in these places and in her family home.
Delta grew up in a large family. She has a visual impairment and a physical disability but despite this, she was very protective of her younger sibling, who also had a disability.
Her mother was sexually, physically and emotionally abusive and neglected her children. Sometimes Delta would take the abuse to protect her sibling.
For a time, Delta’s mother was having an affair and she allowed this man to sexually abuse Delta.
Sometimes Delta and her sibling were taken to the hospital because of their injuries. Their mother always said these were caused because their disabilities made them clumsy. ‘People would just accept that – it was never questioned’ says Delta.
Social workers were involved with the family, but they rarely visited and always gave notice when they did. Delta says it seemed to be a different social worker every time, and they never spoke to the children without their mother being in the room.
Delta was placed in a residential school. When she was 10 years old, one of the male staff, Marten, raped her. He also sexually abused one of her friends, and the two girls reported what he had done.
Marten was told to leave the school, but the assaults were not reported to the police. He was related to another member of staff and he continued coming to the school to socialise with the staff. Marten’s relative was always horrible to Delta and her friend after they reported him. ‘She absolutely hated us’ Delta says.
When Delta was 18, she boarded at a special needs college. A friend told her about a website for victims and survivors but she could not access this without approval from the college IT department.
A man called Steffan was in charge of the computer systems. He approved access and began grooming her, telling her he was sorry she had been abused. He told her he had also had a difficult childhood, and he started ringing her – sometimes dozens of times a day.
One night, Steffan asked her to meet him. He locked her in a room with him, took her out of her wheelchair and raped her. Delta comments that he was different to the people who had previously abused her, as ‘they were all quite violent … he was more gentle and made out I was his girlfriend, but I couldn't get away’.
More recently, Delta has reported the abuse she suffered during her childhood to the police. They said it would be her word against the abusers and the case did not proceed.
Delta has suffered from serious mental health problems and has attempted suicide. She suffers with feelings of shame, has an eating disorder and PTSD.
She says she has had to battle for appropriate support and help, and is now funding this herself. She would like more specialised and sensitive support to be available to victims and survivors.
Delta thinks there is a real resistance among professionals to accepting that women can and do sexually abuse. ‘People don’t want to believe it’ she says. She would like to see this misconception being addressed with more education, training and awareness.
Most importantly, Delta says, she wants children and adults to be believed when they disclose childhood sexual abuse.