Eamon could not cope with women saying they loved him. This was something his abuser often told him
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Eamon was adopted as a baby and describes having an ‘idyllic childhood’. He grew up on a farm close to the seaside and remembers always being outside enjoying activities like riding and collecting eggs.
But an undiagnosed problem with his eyesight caused him to fall behind with his school work and fail his 11+ examination. This changed the happy course of his life.
Eamon’s parents did not want him to attend the local secondary school so they sent him to a private boys' school, having been impressed by the headteacher. But in reality, Eamon says, the school was ‘St Trinian-like’ and the staff were ‘a motley crew’.
He later learned that the head had made false claims about his educational background and ‘had a passion for young girls’, and that another teacher masturbated in front of pupils.
Eamon says the one qualified teacher in the school was ‘humorous and entertaining’, and he liked him. This teacher, Mr A, drank a lot and lived in a caravan behind the school.
Mr A bought an old car, and Eamon and some other boys helped him to restore it. As a reward the teacher took the boys away for two nights. They travelled to a farm where they were to spend the night in a barn.
The boys were allowed to drink alcohol and settled down to sleep, but it was a starry night and Eamon wanted to sleep upstairs by the open door and look out at the hills. During the night the teacher came upstairs and raped Eamon. He remembered feelings of disgust, and being afraid that someone had seen what happened.
In the morning everything was ‘normal’ and nothing was said, but this was the start of a pattern of abuse. Over the following year, Eamon was pushed into empty rooms by Mr A, cornered, kissed and abused. On one occasion this happened in a train toilet on a school trip in Europe.
Eamon didn’t tell his parents about the abuse, or that he was having a tough time generally – he was being bullied for wearing glasses and being adopted, and was subjected to harsh corporal punishment in the school. He began stealing from his mother’s pockets as a cry for attention. ‘I was miserable and upset’, he says.
When the headteacher announced that he had purchased a second school where pupils would board, Eamon decided he wanted to transfer there to escape his abuser. He persuaded his parents to allow this and says he enjoyed the first term there.
However in the second term Mr A arrived to teach. Eamon believes he remained at the school for decades abusing more boys.
As an adult, Eamon campaigned to have the school closed down. He was contacted by other former pupils who had been abused by Mr A and other teachers at the school.
When Eamon reported the abuse by Mr A to the police, he was told that the teacher was deceased. He says he felt that the investigation was ‘pathetic’. He learned that some teachers at the school had become whistleblowers regarding abuse at the school, but feels they were all ignored by the police, social services and the local MP.
Despite going on to have a successful career, the impact of the abuse has continued throughout Eamon’s life. He says ‘It is still affecting me, my memories are as sharp as can be ... I want justice’.
He says he had little confidence as a young man. He feels he should have married in his 20s and had children, and adds that on her mother’s death bed, she told him her biggest regret was that she didn’t have grandchildren.
Eamon believes there is a significantly growing need for therapy and support for victims and survivors and says the long waiting lists for counselling are unacceptable. He would like day and residential centres to be set up to aid therapy and treatment for people who have been sexually abused.