Eloise is angry that her family’s home life was disrupted because she was the victim of sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Eloise lived with her family in a block of flats in a large city.
They liked their neighbourhood, but after a neighbour sexually abused her, she and her family had to leave their home.
Eloise says she was a well-behaved child and her mother was vigilant of her children and rarely left them unsupervised.
A neighbour, Mr A, lived in a flat close by with his extended family. Eloise remembers that he was often out on the balcony watching the children playing. She was also aware as a child that this neighbour was sometimes over-familiar with her, talking inappropriately to her and touching her shoulders.
One day, when Eloise was 10 years old, she went down the stairs of the block to meet a family member, who was waiting for her. On her way down, Mr A suddenly appeared in a stairwell. He asked her for a hug and touched her, then tried to put his hand down her trousers.
She remembers him asking where her sibling was, and that she shouted at him and shoved him away. She says he seemed shocked at this response.
Eloise immediately ran back to her mother and told her what had happened. By this time Mr A was back on his balcony as if nothing had happened. Her mother shouted that she was calling the police. When they arrived, Mr A had disappeared but was later arrested.
Eloise was taken to the police station and questioned in detail by a male police officer. She says this was very traumatic. The police told the family that it was unlikely that a charge would succeed. However, they discovered Mr A was in the UK illegally, and said that reporting and deporting him from the UK would be a better way to proceed against him.
After Mr A was removed from the flat he shared with his extended family, his family became hostile towards Eloise and her family. Although her family didn’t want to leave their home and neighbourhood, they felt they had no choice but to find somewhere else to live. It took a number of years and pressure from their local MP for Eloise’s family to be rehoused.
They suffered further upset when the police returned the clothes they had taken from Eloise after she reported the abuse. The clothes were addressed to Eloise but her mother intercepted the parcel because she was very concerned about the effect it could have had on Eloise if she had opened it.
Although Mr A was supposed to have been deported, Eloise saw him several times when she was a teenager. Her mother called the police twice to alert them about this, but they were unable to trace him.
Eloise says the sexual abuse and its aftermath affected her and her family relationships, with them blaming themselves for not protecting her. She is very nervous of men and has a strong reaction to being touched. She had counselling for a few years but feels angry about the resources that were spent on supporting her. She says she would have preferred them to be used getting justice for her and prosecuting the perpetrator.
She has several recommendations about dealing with victims’ complaints and supporting their families.
These include better support for victims and families, so that their lives are not disrupted, for example, by having to move when they have done nothing wrong. Eloise says housing departments should give this a high priority. She would also like to see more resources given to schools for safeguarding and welfare needs.