Ezra’s father only believed him after media reports about the children’s home
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Ezra grew up in a large family. He describes himself as the ‘black sheep’ because he got into trouble so much.
At the age of 12, he was put in a children’s home where he was sexually abused. He reported it but was not believed.
Soon after he arrived at the home, an older resident, called Jon, approached and said he was going to take Ezra under his wing. Jon was about 18, and had been in the home so long, Ezra says, that he was almost treated as if he was one of the staff.
Jon began coming into the dormitory where Ezra slept with two other boys. He did this even though a night watchman used to come by to check on them. Jon would get into bed with Ezra, saying things like ‘I am trying to make you comfortable’. Ezra would try to put him off but it didn’t stop him.
One day, Jon took Ezra out to a wooded area. The older boy got his penis out and Ezra says ‘I thought he was going to pee’. Instead, Jon told Ezra to touch him and masturbate him. Ezra describes how terrified he was, and felt he had no choice but to do what he was told.
Ezra explains that his parents came to visit him every week at the children’s home. After Jon had been abusing him, he told them what was happening and begged for help. He says that his mum believed him and was very upset, but his father did not. Nothing was done, because, Ezra says, ‘he was the one in charge’.
The abuse by Jon continued and escalated. Ezra says he seemed to be ‘everywhere I was’. He would come to Ezra’s room every night; he started trying to touch Ezra’s penis, and he forced the younger boy to perform oral sex on him. Ezra describes how sick this made him feel, but he still felt too terrified to resist.
One day, desperate to find a way to make the abuse stop, Ezra went to tell the couple who ran the home. But they didn't believe him and shut down the conversation. He told them he wanted to go home, but they refused to allow this.
Ezra feels that in the eyes of the staff at the home ‘Jon could do no wrong’. He believes that some of them knew Jon was an abuser and he adds that some staff members made a point of watching the boys shower.
He says that he was also ‘slapped about’ in the home, but there were some nice staff there, and sometimes he took refuge in the kitchen to get away from Jon.
Ezra left the children’s home after a few months, and went back to his parents. When he was in his mid teens he began a trade apprenticeship and left the family home for good.
However, his life was still troubled. He became addicted to drugs and spent time in prison. He took positive steps to turn his life around; when coming into money he used it to pay for rehab and says he has never taken any drugs since. He also did a course after he left prison, to improve his self-awareness and help him manage his anger.
Some years later, the children’s home that Ezra had been in appeared on the news because of reported child abuse that had gone on there. Ezra pointed this out to his father, who is remorseful that he did not believe his son. Ezra says they now have a good relationship, but he wishes his dad had believed him about the abuse at the time and stopped it.
Ezra then decided to report Jon to the police. They began an investigation but discovered that the abuser had died.
He would like to see some changes to help prevent child sexual abuse in the future. He feels it is very important for children in care to have independent people they can turn to if they are having problems. He would also like to see more provision of support services for adults who were abused as children.