She was let down by some professionals, but Frida praises the care she received from others
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Frida and her mum spent time living in a women’s refuge, where she was sexually abused by a teenage boy.
She says the staff at the refuge were ‘brilliant’ but that more care and attention should have been given to safeguarding.
Frida’s mum was very young when she had her two children, and her dad was addicted to hard drugs. He didn’t live with them, but he would often visit without warning and be violent to her mother.
Sometimes Frida and her mum and sibling lived with relatives, but when she was four years old, they spent two years in a women’s refuge.
During their stay, her mother befriended another woman who had four older teenage children. They would play together and when Frida’s mum went to night classes, the family looked after Frida and her sibling.
The oldest son began to sexually abuse Frida. She says he would pretend they were playing a game, and he would encourage his siblings to join in and abuse Frida and her sibling. The abuse involved touching and masturbation, and penetration with objects.
The abuse escalated when the other family moved into a house. Frida and her sibling were often sent to stay overnight with them, and Frida had to share a bed with the eldest teenager.
Frida remembers being taken to see the doctor several times because she had vaginal infections. She says she felt uncomfortable at these visits and she recalls the doctor saying the problem might be caused by using too much bubble bath.
She says that once her grandmother asked if anyone was touching her, but she said no. She comments that she had to lie so many times in her childhood it was natural for her to do this.
The abuse ended when Frida’s mother and the children were housed in another area and they no longer saw the other family.
Frida never disclosed what had happened to her and her sibling. She says she has always felt guilty she did not protect them.
Soon after they moved, Frida’s mum got a new partner and from then on, she says her life improved greatly. She liked him and felt cared for and safe.
But as she became an adolescent, the sexual abuse and the violence she had seen her father inflict on her mother started to impact on her. She says she was promiscuous. She became anxious and depressed and had suicidal thoughts.
Frida started having counselling in her late 30s and says this helped her understand how she was affected by her childhood experiences.
She feels that there were a number of signs that things were wrong in her childhood that were missed by responsible adults. She believes more attention should have been given to safeguarding her and her sibling, particularly as social services were aware they had to go and live in a refuge.
However, Frida praises the staff in the women’s refuge; she just thinks there should be more counselling and support for parents and children who live there.
She also remembers teachers and other staff in school who treated her with care, and supported her.
Frida feels that training professionals who work with children to be empathic, understanding and build caring relationships will help children speak out about abuse.