Gareth was put in care to protect him from a violent father, but this did not keep him safe from sexual abuse
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Gareth was five years old when he was removed from the family home. He was given several placements, including two different foster carers, one of whom mentally abused him.
At the next children’s home he was sent to, he was sexually abused for four years by Ron, the officer in charge.
Gareth relates that most of the children in the home were routinely beaten by staff, and that he was one of three children who were given what he describes ironically as ‘special treatment’. This meant they were sexually abused by Ron.
The abuse began when he was 12 years old and continued until he was mid teens, when he left the home and returned to live with his father.
Some time afterwards, the police arrived at Gareth’s house and showed his father naked photos of Gareth and the other children that had been taken by the Ron. It emerged that Ron’s house had been burgled and the photos had been handed in to the police.
Gareth describes his father as ‘old-school’ and says he didn’t believe that sort of thing happened to ‘real men’. He was therefore very upset that the police showed the photos to his father. Gareth tried to deny that ‘anything had happened’ but his father blamed him for the abuse and a few months later threw him out of the house.
Ron was sentenced to eight years in prison for the abuse.
Gareth remarks that ‘care should be a place of safety’ and he feels there were signs that should have raised questions about possible abuse.
He thinks that the fact that Ron was a single man who appeared to have no other life apart from living in the children’s home, and only holidayed with the children, should have also raised concerns.
He says that he changed from being ‘a naughty, lively child’ and became quiet and withdrawn at school but no one appeared to notice this.
He adds that the abused children did ‘drop hints’ about the abuse, but they were ‘brushed away’ by staff.
Gareth would like social services to monitor anyone who works with children. Neither the local council or social services have acknowledged or apologised about the sexual abuse that Gareth suffered, or offered him any help or support. Gareth obtained copies of his social services records and reflects on an entry where social services note concerns that Ron was taking Gareth on outings without consent. The abuse is further referred to in Gareth’s medical notes from the time which state it was fortunate Gareth hadn’t been permanently affected by the abuse.
Gareth also thinks the police should have handled the disclosure of the abuse by Ron differently, particularly because they were aware his father was violent and abusive.
He says that fortunately his long-term partner has made a ‘massive difference’ to his life, helping him ‘straighten out and get through’.