Georgina says it hasn’t been easy, but she doesn’t feel like a victim anymore
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Georgina remembers feeling isolated as she grew up, recognising that her relationship with her family was ‘different’ to that of her half-siblings, and that she was treated as the ‘naughty one’.
Her father died when she was very young. Her mother remarried and had more children with a man who sexually and physically abused his stepdaughter.
Georgina’s stepfather, Angus, began sexually abusing her when she was about four years old. He physically abused her and also his own children. This included punching her and burning her with cigarettes, and pushing his son down the stairs.
When she was about six, her mother caught Angus sexually abusing Georgina in their home. She remembers there was a big argument. Her mother was not sympathetic nor supportive towards her, but she did send for a male relative to visit her husband and ‘sort him out’.
Following this, Georgina was physically examined. She remembers this felt like another episode of abuse that she had no control over. She describes going to court and using a video link, and how scared and confused she felt. Angus was given a prison sentence.
Afterwards, Georgina says that she and her mother ‘were always pissed off with each other’. School days were a ‘bloody nightmare’; she was regularly in trouble for fighting and bad behaviour. She felt angry and upset and hated herself. She began self-harming and taking overdoses. This went on for years.
She left home at the age of 16 and used drugs and alcohol to get ‘that happy feeling’ to deal with how she felt. She says she would look for fights, usually with men. She comments that she feels as if she has become the ‘stereotypical man-hating lesbian’ because of her experiences.
She no longer has contact with her family but she has a partner. But she says she struggles with trust and finds it difficult to express her emotions. She very rarely cries as she sees it as a sign of weakness.
Georgina adds that it has taken her 20 years to become calm about her experiences. She feels her life has got better in the past few years and that speaking to the Truth Project will provide some closure for her.
She volunteers for a gay support group, which helped her recover after she had hit her lowest ebb. She says she no longer needs the approval of others.
Georgina feels that people need opportunities to talk about the abuse and they shouldn’t have to fight for support. All victims and survivors should have access to the right support or counselling when they need it.
She believes that paedophiles need help but that they cannot be rehabilitated. She feels the work of the Truth Project can help to protect children from sexual abuse.