Gershom says that when he was growing up, it was very difficult to challenge authority
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Gershom was sexually abused by a teacher at his school.
More than 40 years later, seeing a Truth Project advertisement made him decide to speak about what happened, and how it has affected him.
Gershom describes how, when he and some of his friends were about 10–11 years old, they were groomed by their primary school class teacher, Mr Jones.
Mr Jones, who lived in the same neighbourhood, would invite the boys to his home to play games in the basement and look at his classic cars. Gershom explains how appealing this was to him as a boy – his family did not own a car.
The teacher was involved with the school football team and he would often drive Gershom and the other boys to the playing field. Mr Jones was also a member of a Christian religious group and would take the boys there on Sundays.
Gershom comments that this helped Mr Jones maintain his ‘respected status’ and it meant his parents were happy to allow him to be taken places by the teacher, when in reality it gave the teacher another chance to abuse children.
Gershom says that Mr Jones sexually abused him and other boys on numerous occasions. This included touching and fondling their thighs and genitals and often happened during car journeys.
The boys never really discussed the abuse between them, but he describes ‘an unspoken understanding’ between them that none of them wanted to sit in the front passenger seat for this reason. He remembers leaning over himself to try and stop Mr Jones touching him.
He says the ‘worst thing’ that Mr Jones did was on a trip to a residential camp. The teacher took Gershom to his bedroom and forced him onto his lap. Mr Jones put his hand down the boy’s trousers and fondled his genitals for several minutes.
Gershom says that he knows he found the experience traumatic, but he has since rationalised it by saying to himself that it could have been much worse.
When he got home from the trip, he did tell his mother he had been sexually abused and he remembers she was ‘shocked, very angry and upset’. But he does not know if she took any action, and it was never mentioned again.
Gershom says ‘she was a very good mother’, but he adds that back then it was very difficult for people to challenge those in authority. He also tried in his own way to stop the abuse.
The abuse stopped when Gershom moved into the next year in school. No one ever spoke about it, and he does not know if anyone at the school was aware of it.
He has suffered with anxiety and has felt confused about his sexuality. He is married and has children, but has not felt able to tell his wife more than minimal detail about the abuse.
He comments that headteachers in the 1970s were remote figures, but he feels that now they are far more visible and involved with the children and parents. Similarly, he feels that the school was not monitored or inspected as it would be today.
Gershom adds that it is important for schools to keep building on the increased awareness of child sexual abuse by teaching children about respectful relationships and appropriate behaviour, and that staff must be vigilant about the signs of abuse.
He works to promote the wellbeing of young people, and because he advocates for others to discuss any safeguarding concerns, he decided to share his own experience. He has found this helpful.