Greyson says ‘I told them what was happening but it was my 13-year-old word against a Catholic monk’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Greyson writes a moving account of sexual abuse that he suffered in his childhood and how his troubled early years have affected him.
He is currently serving a prison sentence.
Greyson grew up in a big city and became the subject of a care order when he was 12 years old. He was placed in three different children’s homes over three years, until he was allowed to return to his family.
The second home that Greyson went to was run by Catholic monks. There, he was racially, physically and sexually abused every week for a year. He was 13 years old.
Greyson frequently ran away from the home. For this reason, one of the monks, Brother A, was supposed to keep an eye on him.
‘Ironic really, when he was the person that was abusing me’ says Greyson.
He says he still suffers flashbacks of the monk taking him to his room. Brother A would hit Greyson to make him perform oral sex on him. ‘Sometimes it feels I can still taste the nastiness in my throat’ he says.
Greyson says that he and other boys in the home also suffered harsh physical beatings with wooden sticks, and sometimes a group of them ran away together. He adds that his friends were white, so they were not subjected to the same racist abuse that he suffered.
Once, after the police had caught Greyson running away, he told them what was happening to him in the home, but they wouldn’t believe him. On another occasion, he absconded back to his family home and told his mother, but she also refused to believe him.
He left, and for a while, he slept in empty train carriages in railway sidings.
Greyson describes the impact that the abuse had on him. ‘At the time it was happening I was scared, I didn’t trust any adults, not even family, or people in authority, and that is pretty much how it is now.’
He says he is a loner and struggles to maintain relationships. He adds ‘I used to use drugs to keep the memories at bay, but nothing can really rub those thoughts out’.
About 15 years ago, Greyson reported the abuse to the police. He says they believed him but told him that because Brother A was very old and frail, they didn’t think ‘it was worth bringing charges’. He says ‘That made me feel even more worthless’.
Greyson thinks that the people who were in charge of the home could have helped him, ‘as it was no secret what was going on’. He also holds the local authority responsible.
Greyson believes there should be more checks on children in care by experienced and independent social workers.
He concludes ‘It has been very hard to write about things that happened in my past because I know they have contributed to where I am today … I have gone through all that and I can still remember it as if it happened this morning’.
He says that his ‘only godsend’ is his support worker, who he really values as the only person he can talk to without fear.