Griffin says the sexual abuse he suffered in a children’s home was ‘part of everyday life’
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Griffin and his siblings were neglected by their parents, and were all taken into care when he was a toddler.
He was sexually abused from the age of seven by an older resident in a children’s home. The police later said it was consensual sex.
Griffin says that his early years are a ‘complete blank’ to him. He knows that he and his siblings were separated and he lived in several foster placements before he was sent to the children’s home.
He says the home felt ‘animalistic in nature’. There were no days out and there were rigid rules. There was nobody to speak to and he never felt loved or cared for. He adds ‘I was a troubled child. People didn’t want to deal with me’.
Of the 15 or so residents, Griffin was the youngest and most of them were older teenagers. He was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by one of them, Dan, nearly every day. The abuse happened in his bedroom, the bathroom and in the grounds around the children’s home. Dan threatened him with more violence if he told anyone.
Dan anally raped Griffin. Griffin says this was very painful at first, but after a time he ‘just let Dan do what he wanted’. He says it was ‘common knowledge’ that he was being abused, but the staff didn’t say or do anything, and he left the children’s home thinking it was ‘normal’.
After he left, Griffin was sent to a special boarding school where he was physically abused by a teacher and other staff. He joined the armed forces and was sent on active service. He was later diagnosed with PTSD, but he says he thinks he already had this when he left the care system.
Griffin says that as a child he became withdrawn and then aggressive. As an adult he committed crimes and served a prison sentence. He still finds it hard to trust anybody and to make friends.
Griffin has seen his case file and he knows he was on the child protection register. He has reported to the police the abuse Dan subjected him to, but they said it was ‘consensual sex’.
He feels angry with social services for putting him in a situation where he was not safe. He says ‘They dictate who can live where … but who polices them?’
Griffin wishes he could have had counselling. He tried to claim compensation so he could pay for some, but he was not successful. He feels strongly that therapy should be available for victims and survivors of child sexual abuse.
He adds that staff in the care system should make an effort to connect with children and listen to them, and act on their concerns.
Griffin says that he changed when he met his partner, and he has not been in trouble since. He has children and says he wants to ensure he makes their lives better than his.