Hayley

Hayley says her parents ‘did not want me’ and her father was physically abusive. She and her sisters spent their childhoods in and out of care, where she suffered more mistreatment. She thinks now that she would have been safer if she had stayed at home with her father.

She remembers that, as a young child, she was sexually abused in one children’s home by a male member of staff, David. Every week for a about year he took her to a different part of the home to ’do things’. Sometimes he was joined by another man.

One day, with particular cruelty, David told Hayley she was being taken to see her mum. Instead he drove her to a flat where the other man was waiting for them.

Hayley recalls being tied to a chair, her clothes were cut from her and she was raped ‘for hours’. Eventually they stopped, dressed her in new clothes and took her back to the children’s home.

She told the staff, teachers and a nurse at school that she was sore, but no one said or did anything.

Later Hayley left the children’s home with her sister and was placed in a foster family. She describes the foster father as ‘lovely’, but the foster mother was violent.

She would beat, punch and kick Hayley and on one occasion threw her down the stairs. Hayley says she learned to tell by the look on the foster mother’s face whether she would be beaten or not that particular day.

Hayley told the social worker, but nothing was done. She describes feeling that world was going so fast that she could not stop it, and how she would shout out loud, ‘Stop now!’

She asked to move to a different foster home as she believed her foster mother might kill her.

She was taken to a new children’s home, where a care worker took a dislike to her, and began beating her. She ran away but returned the next morning as she had nowhere else to go.

She remembers that the police were at the children’s home when she returned, but they were told that she was a liar who had injured herself and no action was taken. She was given a bath, cleaned up and sent to school.

The violence continued from the care worker, but she felt there was no one she could go to ask for help. She did not tell her sister as they were not close.

Hayley moved in with members of her extended family for a period. When there she was raped by their son. When she told her family members, her abuser’s parents, they sent her back to the home, where the care worker continued to beat her.

She stopped going to school and was told that she would be sent to a new placement. She thought this might be a way out, but two male teachers at the new school sexually abused her.

They told that no one would believe her if she reported it and, if she did say anything, she would be accused of stealing and the police would put her in prison.

As a teenager, Hayley met a man who she says did give her a ‘way out’. They have been married for many years and he has helped her to deal with of the consequences of her abuse, including PTSD, nightmares and flashbacks.

She had no other help or support but recently went to her GP and has been referred to a counselling agency.

A few years ago, Hayley decided to go to the police. She attended a lot of interviews and said she had to relive her experiences many times over. She was relieved when she heard that the care worker was to be charged. However, the charges against the care worker were subsequently dropped.

Hayley says that she was not able to get any justice from the system with regard to what had happened to her in the past and she feels as though she has been abused all over again.