Giving evidence against her abusive brother was traumatic for Helga, but resulted in his conviction
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Helga was sexually abused in her home by her older brother.
Later in life he was charged with abusing his stepdaughter and she gave evidence against him in the case. She feels strongly that she would have benefited from more support after the court case.
After Helga’s stepfather died, her mother struggled financially and the remaining family frequently had to move house.
She had two brothers and the older one, Stephan, began to sexually abuse her when she was seven years old. He assaulted her anally on numerous occasions over three years, telling her it was ‘normal in families’ to do this. He also warned her that she would be ‘taken away’ if she told anyone.
Eventually, Helga told her grandmother that she was sore. She remembers overhearing her mother exclaiming ‘Oh God, it must be him’, but nothing was said to her about it.
The abuse ended after another girl in the village was attacked and Stephan was questioned. A policewoman questioned Helga, who described what her brother was doing to her, but she was returned to the family home where he was still living.
Although Stephan stopped abusing Helga, she discovered many years later that he began to abuse her younger brother at this point. At the same time, Helga’s mother, who was frequently drunk, began to physically and sexually abuse her.
When Helga was in her early teens, she says she tried to avoid being at home by spending as much time as possible with a friend. She adds that her behaviour began to change and she went from being ‘a quiet, shrinking schoolgirl’ into a teenager full of anger, drinking and smoking weed.
She says she once stayed away from school for six months but no one questioned her absence or her change in behaviour. Social services were involved at times, but again, no one asked why she was behaving the way she was, and she recalls one social worker telling her she was ‘ungrateful’.
Helga got married when she was in her mid teens. She says she just wanted to escape and have a ‘normal life’. But the man she married was abusive and Helga left him when she realised the effect it was having on her children to witness his violence.
She recounts that a few years ago, Stephan was charged with sexually abusing a young girl. Helga gave evidence at his trial and she was subjected to cross examination which she found traumatic. Stephen was found guilty and sentenced to a long prison term.
She says she was given support during the proceedings but the support that was promised after the trial did not materialise.
She feels very strongly that courts should be aware of the possible impact of proceedings on victims. She would like support to be offered afterwards, as the experience can trigger strong emotional reactions.
She says ‘We were just left ... someone to call you the next day would help, even if it’s a direction to NHS services’.
Helga adds that teachers and youth leaders must play a role in picking up signals from children about abuse.