Hermione felt responsible for being sexually abused by a man twice her age
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Hermione says that when she was a young teenager, she was ‘socially awkward’ and did not have many friends.
A male shopkeeper flattered her with compliments and attention and sexually abused her.
The abuser befriended Hermione after she bought something from his shop. He knew how old she was but he told her how grown up she was compared to other girls her age, and encouraged her to think they were in a relationship.
He ended contact with her after he realised she had told some classmates at school what was happening. She later found out that he was in his 30s and lived with his partner.
She says that her parents and family suspected something might be going on between them but she denied it when they asked questions. She did tell a church youth worker as she was scared she had done something illegal with her older ‘boyfriend’. This person said that if Hermione had not had sex it wasn’t illegal.
The abuse affected her self-esteem, which was already low. She says that she felt responsible for what happened and very uncomfortable about it for many years. She has only recently begun to recognise that she was manipulated and groomed.
Hermione feels that her relationships with men have been affected by her experiences. She says she thought sex was the way to get their attention and interest and she subsequently entered into an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.
She now believes that adults in positions of trust should be more aware about subtle indications or disclosures made by children of abuse.
Hermione also feels that victims and survivors should never be made to feel they are responsible for what happened, nor should their disclosures be minimised or dismissed.