Hyacinth says that being blind is ‘part of my life’, but she thinks that it heightened her vulnerability
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Hyacinth was sexually abused by a teenage girl who used to babysit her.
She believes that being sight-impaired and not having the usual ‘visual cues’ was one of the reasons she was targeted for abuse.
Hyacinth’s parents separated when she was a small child and she spent time with both of them.
She says she ‘never wanted to be treated differently’ because of her visual impairment, and adds that she had a very strong character.
Hyacinth’s mum worked hard to provide for her children, and she arranged for a local teenage girl to babysit for Hyacinth and her younger sister.
When Hyacinth was about six or seven years old, the babysitter started touching her around her vagina. Hyacinth says that at first the babysitter made the abuse seem like a game. She adds that the teenager was very persuasive, asking Hyacinth to touch her back in the same way.
She remembers that the babysitter stopped coming for a time, but then reappeared. One night when Hyacinth was about nine, the babysitter came into her room and got in the bed with her.
Hyacinth says she tried to move away, but the teenager was ‘begging and pleading’ with her to touch her vagina. This happened on several occasions. Hyacinth remembers saying it was ‘yucky’ and going to the bathroom to wash her hands afterwards. The babysitter made Hyacinth touch her breasts as well.
Hyacinth describes how she felt ‘trapped’ during the abuse. The babysitter threatened to kill her if she told anyone and she says she told herself ‘Grit your teeth, hold your nose and get on with it’.
For a long time, Hyacinth didn’t feel she could tell her mum or dad about the abuse. However, she told another older girl who was a neighbour, and this girl encouraged her to tell her mum, which she did.
After this, Hyacinth didn't see the abuser for quite a while, but one day her mum arranged for her to babysit again. By this time, Hyacinth was older and she told the teenager never to touch her again.
Hyacinth was not sure before she shared her experience that what she had suffered was sexual abuse.
She says she is very cautious of people and finds it hard to trust anyone. She struggles with intimacy with her partner but she has told him about her childhood experiences and he is supportive.
Hyacinth has suffered with mental health problems that have caused her to be admitted to hospital.
She emphasises that parents need to be extremely careful who they trust with their children. She would like to see more peer support for children as they may find it easier to disclose abuse to someone nearer their own age, as she did.
Hyacinth adds that society should be careful not to ‘over-safeguard’ as this can have negative consequences. She says ‘If children need a hug, give them a hug’.
She is a talented creative artist, and this provides her with a living and ‘an escape’. She is planning to complete a counselling course as she feels that her experiences will enable her to support people who have suffered from poor mental health.