Imogen says that as a child at home ‘there was never anywhere I could go where I felt safe’
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Imogen’s older brothers began sexually abusing her in the family home when she was a very young child.
It was only when she was caught shoplifting in her early teens that she disclosed what was happening to her.
The abuse occurred in every room of the house and in the family’s car. Imogen describes how she felt there was nowhere she could go to escape, even when she locked herself in the bathroom.
Imogen remembers telling one of her brothers, Jordan, that she would tell their dad, but he said their father wouldn’t believe her.
After Imogen told the police about the abuse, Jordan was questioned and admitted that sexual abuse had taken place. However he said it only happened once and claimed Imogen had participated fully. She doesn’t know if the police investigated further.
Her father was upset that she had informed the police. Before the disclosure he had said he wanted her examined medically but after Jordan admitted the abuse her father said he didn’t want a doctor anywhere near her.
Jordan accepted a police caution and Imogen was sent home. He was told to move out but was back visiting the family home within a month. No further sexual abuse took place after this.
A child protection conference was held regarding Imogen when she was 13. Several school teachers were interviewed by social services, but she was not informed of the outcome.
When Imogen was in her twenties another brother disclosed to their parents that he had also sexually abused his sister. Her mother confronted Imogen and asked why she didn't tell her.
Imogen says that after the first police interview no one spoke to her about the abuse and she did not receive any counselling.
She says she has tried to break ties with her family but finds it impossible. She allowed Jordan to come to her wedding as she wanted to ‘keep things normal’. He apologised but Imogen can’t forgive him.
She says when she had to stay in the same house as him on a family visit it was ‘horrible’. When her father was in hospital her children wanted to go and visit their grandad, but Jordan was there and she didn’t want her children there with him.
Her parents have never discussed the abuse she suffered. She remembers having an argument with her father about his attitude. He said she was crazy and should see a psychiatrist.
She has been affected by anxiety, suicidal thoughts and is very critical of herself. She describes how play-wrestling with her son sets off triggers – she knew he wouldn’t hurt her but she was distressed by the feeling of being pinned down in the same way her brothers did.
She would like to see more face-to-face contact by authorities with children who have reported abuse, without the parents being in the vicinity. She says ‘I might have said more if people had been more interested’.
She adds that her parents always said she would ‘never amount to anything’ but she gets support from friends and work colleagues and is trying to prove them wrong.
She is successful in her work and considers she has a good home and a normal family life. ‘I have a lot of positives in my life’.