Jared says ‘You have a feeling of guilt that you have caused it all … that it’s your fault’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
The teacher who sexually abused Jared was later arrested for offences against other children.
When this became public knowledge, Jared was bullied and verbally abused by boys at his school, which added to his trauma.
Jared grew up in a happy working class family. He went to a boys’ school in the 1970s.
Here, a teacher, Mr Hughes, began paying him attention. Jared explains ‘It started when I was 12 ... he befriended me and within a matter of weeks, started to abuse me’.
Mr Hughes also ran an after-school club, with a man called Graeme, who Jared describes as Mr Hughes’ ‘accomplice’. The two men sexually abused several boys – at the club and at Mr Hughes’ house. Jared says that sometimes the abuse was one-on-one, and that he was raped. Other times it involved groups of boys being ‘made to do things with each other’.
Jared was sexually abused over three or four months. The following year, Mr Hughes was arrested for sexual offences against other boys, not from Jared’ school. Jared never saw him again, but he continued to suffer as a result of the abuse by the teacher.
He explains ‘At school there was a lot of bullying after he was arrested … other boys knew I hung around with him and there was unpleasant name calling’.
Jared describes how humiliated and traumatised he felt. The teachers did very little about the bullying and verbal abuse directed at him and others.
He did not feel he could speak about the abuse he had endured, and no one from his school asked him or the other boys any questions, or offered any support. ‘They knew we had spent time in this man’s company’ he says.
He continues ‘The only conversation was with my mum, who asked me if anything had happened, but I felt guilty and said no’.
Some years later Jared heard that Graeme had also been charged for sexually abusing children. He now believes that both Mr Hughes and Graeme were part of a network of paedophiles.
Jared had done well at school before he was abused, but he became very withdrawn and anxious in social situations, and mistrustful of adults.
As he grew older, Jared says he felt confused about his sexuality and became sexually promiscuous. ‘Probably to prove I was heterosexual’ he says.
His mental health was affected throughout his adult years; he also describes feeling great self-doubt and he continued having difficulties with relationships.
Following publicity about high-profile sexual abusers, Jared says, ‘I thought, I’ve got to get some help’. He found it difficult to access therapy, but eventually got support from a survivors’ charity and feels very grateful for this.
He feels there needs to be more support available for survivors of sexual abuse. He also thinks that when Mr Hughes was arrested, his school and the police should have spoken to the boys who attended the club and asked them if they had been abused.
Jared comments, ‘Sex education then was pretty much non-existent’ and he believes that good-quality education on sex, relationships, grooming and abuse could help protect children. He would like children to have access to independent adults they can talk to in confidence.
After sharing his experience, Jared concludes ‘It’s been tough, but if by doing this it would save one other person, it would be enough’.