Jeffery says that at the time he was being abused, he felt someone was at least being kind to him
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jeffery grew up in a troubled family home with an extremely violent father. He was in and out of care as a child and says he did receive positive support from some professionals.
But one social worker took advantage of his longing for kindness and sexually abused him.
Jeffery’s father had mental health and alcohol problems: he inflicted brutal beatings on his children.
On one occasion Jeffery called Childline and went to the police, but he was put in a cell and his father was called to collect him. He says that when his father arrived, he was allowed into the cell to give him a ‘leathering’ before taking him home.
Jeffery’s mother worked long hours to try and support her children, and his father found it impossible to cope. Social services were involved with the family, and Jeffery says that many of the professionals he encountered were helpful to him.
One of the social workers, Daniel, organised a residential trip for a group of children to an outdoor adventure site. Jeffery remembers one of the youngsters leaving the group and being told ‘he’d got cold feet’.
Daniel gave the children cider to drink and made a point of asking them about their feelings and showing compassion towards them.
Jeffery was completely unused to this sort of treatment and he says at the time, he felt Daniel was being warm and affectionate. But the social worker sexually abused Jeffery on two occasions in a bedroom at the centre. Jeffery thinks he also abused others in the group, but says ‘no-one talked about it’.
One evening, Daniel took Jeffery into a local pub which was full of ‘squaddies’. One of them simulated sex with Jeffery over a pool table. He remembers how humiliated he felt, and that Daniel just laughed. But, he says, he didn’t really think much about it, because he was grateful that Daniel was being kind to him.
Jeffery describes how he has struggled in his life since the abuse. He has spent time in prison where he found the intimidation by other inmates very hard to survive. Out of prison, when he has tried to sort his life out, he has had difficulties with bullying at work.
He later discovered that Daniel had been convicted and imprisoned for abusing other children.
He gave a statement to the police but was subsequently told it was not considered to be in the public interest to prosecute Daniel for further offences.
Although Daniel has spent time in prison, Jeffery feels he has got away with the abuse he committed on him. He feels very let down by the police and he thinks they should talk to the other people who were in the group that Daniel took away on trips.
He adds that he feels that social services ripped his life apart and he would like some justice for what he has suffered.
The sexual and physical abuse he suffered has affected his relationship with his siblings and he has little contact with them. However, he does have a good relationship with his son and is grateful for his support and love.
Jeffery believes that good parenting is at the heart of a child’s safety and happiness. He adds that if this isn’t being given, any support services should be carefully vetted to make sure no one takes advantage of the child’s vulnerability.