Jesse behaved badly when he was a child, but no one tried to find out why
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jesse had a learning difficulty, but when he was a young child, his behaviour was seen as disruptive and challenging.
He was sent to different schools for children with physical and emotional needs and was sexually abused by a male member of staff and another pupil.
Jesse explains that in later life he was diagnosed with learning difficulties and health issues, and he now realises that the schools he was sent to were not suitable for his needs.
One day, soon after he arrived at the first school, he was alone in a classroom with a male teaching assistant. He went into a small store room to get some stationery and the man followed him in and sexually abused him.
After the assault, the classroom assistant gave Jesse his telephone number and invited him to call him. Jesse says this caused him great confusion. He did call the number once, without understanding why he was doing it, but the abuser did not answer.
Later, Jesse’s parents found the telephone number and after questioning Jesse, his father took him to the police. He was interviewed and understood that there would be an investigation into what had happened.
However, he wasn’t told any more than that and he remembers going back into school and seeing the classroom assistant working there. He says this lack of information caused him even more confusion and he knows his behaviour deteriorated. He was then moved to another school, where he was bullied and sexually abused by another pupil.
Jesse remembers how intensely angry he felt and says his behaviour became even worse. He ran away and went home to his mother, but was returned to school. He says this added to his feelings of hurt and rejection.
After some time, Jesse was eventually placed in another residential school. When he was in his mid teens, a social worker took him to a room in a house where he was told he would be living. He was left on his own, with no experience of living independently, having lived most of his life in institutions.
He had no one to support him and no one to turn to for help. He describes feeling completely ‘overwhelmed and lost’. He relates how the next few years of his life were extremely difficult. He was suffering with flashbacks, he felt in a constant rage and his mental health deteriorated.
However, he found the courage to seek professional help and over time, he found a very supportive group and became involved with the church. Through this, Jesse says he was able to rebuild his life.
Jesse feels that the schools he was sent to that were supposed to give him support completely failed to meet his needs, and the abuse he experienced made his behaviour and issues worse. He says it is vital that children shouldn’t be left in institutions and that every effort should be made to get them back to their families.
He adds that children must be allowed to communicate and be believed, and that they should be able to build trusting relationships with caregivers and social workers.
Jesse also emphasised how important it is for the police to clearly communicate what’s happening during an investigation.