Jonty was ‘hounded out’ of his school to stop him reporting that a teacher had abused him
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Jonty attended a private school in the 1970s.
He was raped by a teacher on a school trip, and bullied into silence when he tried to report it.
Jonty relates that when he was eight years old, he went on an activity holiday with his school.
One day he wandered off alone and was followed by one of the teachers, Mr Brown. He saw Mr Brown undo his belt and thought he was going to be hit. But the teacher pushed him down and raped him. When it was over, Mr Brown walked away leaving Jonty in the field.
Jonty says after the rape, ‘everything changed … I just went into my shell’. He didn’t join in with any more activities, and he stopped washing. When the holiday ended, on the coach on the way home, the teacher made sure that he sat next to Jonty and warned him, with threats, not to tell anyone what had happened.
Up until then, Jonty says, he had done well at school and had good reports, but from then on, ‘basically I was a mess’. One day, he wet himself in class, and ended up telling a teacher what had been done to him.
He was ‘hauled off’ to the headmaster’s office, and made to stand outside and wait. When he was brought in he found the teacher who had abused him was in there, with the head and the teacher he had told about the abuse.
Jonty describes how the ‘three adults ganged up round me and basically said, if you tell anyone you will be thrown out of the school’. From that point, he says, he ‘kind of blocked it all out’.
He continues that from then on, he was ‘forever in trouble … I went from gold stars to spending my entire time outside the headmaster's office with my hands on my head’. He ended up being suspended, and he now feels this was to make sure that he didn't say anything.
Jonty attended another school, which he left when he was in his mid teens with no qualifications. He says he ‘couldn’t wait to get out’.
Because he has blocked so much out, he can’t remember whether he told his mum and dad about the abuse. But later in life he spoke to his mum about it, and she commented about the school trip that ‘the little boy that went away didn't come home’.
Jonty began working, but also began to drink and ‘dabble in drugs … I craved oblivion’. He describes feeling that ‘I had a rugby ball of anger in my stomach that I carried around with me, it kept getting bigger and heavier’.
He grew apart from his friends who were finding girlfriends and getting married. By contrast, he says he always chose relationships that he knew were going to ‘explode’.
When he was older Jonty got into a relationship which he says made him feel he was ‘in a safe place’. He told his parents about the abuse he had suffered as a child, and decided to report it to the police. The officer he spoke to told him he had to understand that this was ‘a child's memory against an adult’ and said it was very unlikely it would be taken to court.
Jonty returned to the police station with a school photograph of Mr Brown, but he says that when he gave a statement, the officer showed no compassion or real interest and that his manner was actually ‘abusive’. He heard nothing from the police for several months, until he chased them, and was told that the school had not admitted the abuser had worked there.
He then took matters into his own hands and spoke to staff at the school, and a few days later the police called him to say the school had admitted Mr Brown did work there. They interviewed the teacher but Jonty was informed later that the prosecution would not go ahead.
After this, Jonty says, he developed a ‘death wish’. He had several road accidents caused by him speeding, and he attempted suicide. Looking back, he says, ‘how I got away with doing what I did is beyond me’.
His relationship with his partner and other family members fell apart, he started drinking and taking drugs again and he lost his business. His mental health deteriorated and he had ‘a monumental crash to the point where I couldn't even answer the phone’.
Jonty needed income, but his dealings with the job centre and later the Department for Work and Pensions added to his distress. He explained to them about the abuse, the trauma he was experiencing and that he had attempted suicide, but was treated with a complete lack of care or compassion.
He emphasises that he understands it is necessary to prove that you need benefits, but he feels that victims of child sexual abuse should be dealt with more sensitively.
Jonty has had some therapy, where he has talked in detail about the abuse for the first time.
He explains that he wanted to share his experience to ‘make a difference’ and try and help protect children now.