Juliet was disbelieved and blamed for the immoral behaviour of adults
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
A succession of abusive encounters in the care system led to Juliet being sexualised at a young age, then disbelieved and blamed for the immoral behaviour of adults.
Juliet’s father left the family home when she was a baby and her mother was an alcoholic and a drug-user. At 18 months old, Juliet was placed in foster care with a family.
One of her earliest memories is the foster father touching her inappropriately while pretending to tickle her. He was also physically abusive to her and her sibling, forcing them to sit naked at the table to make sure they finished their food and didn’t try and hide anything they didn’t like.
Although she feels unhappy about the way her foster carers treated her, she says she doesn’t want them to get into trouble as they still feel like her ‘real parents’. As abusive as it might have been, she says it was better than her situation with her mother.
At some stage, Juliet asked to be moved from the foster family and was given different placements in care. With one family who had children of their own and adopted children – all older than her – Juliet became aware that the children would partner up to have sex with each other. They took to sexually abusing her as well.
She was moved to another children’s home where she remembers the owners being physically abusive and the boys trapping the girls to grope them. Juliet says she didn’t care. By this time, she was getting into trouble and felt she just wanted to make people happy. Looking back, she says she was seen as a ‘Lolita’ and was sexualised at an early age. Her behaviour deteriorated and her education suffered.
When she was a young teenager, a man came to the home looking for a babysitter for his family. Juliet went to his house with her friend and found it very exciting. He would let them drink, smoke and watch cartoons and they didn’t seem to be required to look after his children. When her friend stopped going, Juliet got all the man’s attention. He would touch her, and she believes he started to drug her as well as give her alcohol. He once showed her a video of young girls being abused by him in his flat and she wonders if he filmed her as well. After he tried to have sex with her and she was physically sick, she stopped going to his house.
Juliet began babysitting for another man who was married with children and involved in the local Scouts group and football team. Juliet started a relationship with him which she has struggled to consider abusive, despite her age. Juliet would sometimes stay over while babysitting and he would come downstairs to have sex with her. She suspects the wife was aware – one day she accused Juliet of making eyes at her husband and she was stopped from going to the house.
When Juliet tried to talk to social services about what had happened she was dismissed for making things up.
In her teenage years Juliet coped with the effects of the sexual abuse by using alcohol and drugs. She is now able to keep on track with the support of therapy and says she remains strong and positive.