Kieron did not think anyone would believe that a respected teacher was abusing him
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Kieron was raped by a teacher at his boarding school.
The abuser told him he would be ‘letting people down’ if he told anyone.
When Kieron was in his early teens, he was sent to boarding school. There were 15 boys in his dormitory, and most of them went home at weekends. He says he found being at school lonely and difficult.
One day, Kieron was accused of stealing, and was sent to see the head of house, Mr Baker. The teacher asked Kieron how he was settling in, and then questioned him about whether there had been any sexual activity in his previous school.
Kieron says that his prep school was co-educational so there was ‘some curiosity’ between boys and girls, but he told the teacher it was nothing serious. Mr Baker then asked him if any adults or staff were involved. Kieron told him they were not.
A couple of days later, Kieron was moved to Mr Baker’s tutor group. Soon after, the teacher started showing Kieron images on his computer of boys and girls engaging in sexual activity. He began sexually abusing Kieron.
The abuse went on for about three years, and happened every week – usually on Saturdays when most of the other pupils were not at school. It involved touching, masturbation and oral sex. Mr Baker gave Kieron alcohol, showed him more images on the internet and took pictures of him. The teacher was careful not to show Kieron’s face, saying ‘you wouldn’t want your face on the internet’.
Kieron says that Mr Baker constantly told him he must not say anything about the abuse because ‘you wouldn’t want to let people down’. He adds that the teacher used to pay him hush money.
On one occasion, Kieron was in Mr Baker’s accommodation in the school and Mr Baker gave him alcohol, and anally raped him.
Trying to find a way out of the situation, Kieron wrote Mr Baker a letter. The abuse stopped after this.
Kieron thought about reporting the abuse, but did not think he would be believed; Mr Baker was highly respected and there were no witnesses. He says he did not feel confident that any other staff at school would protect him because they were part of the system.
Kieron has built a successful career but says ‘the abuse was always there’. He lacks confidence and has misused alcohol at times. He has difficulty with relationships and intimacy.
When he was being abused, Kieron felt he had nowhere to turn and no escape route. He would like things to change so that any children who are being abused have a place to go to feel safe and be heard.
He thought several times about speaking out about the abuse but says ‘it was never the right time’. He now has a family which has prompted his decision to report the abuse to the police.