Layla was being abused, but her priority was to protect her mother and sister
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Layla’s stepfather sexually abused her for about six years.
He told her it was a ‘special type of love’, and warned her that he would hurt her mother and her sister if she told anyone.
Layla never knew her real father. Her stepfather, Ken, started to abuse her when she was about four years old. He showed her pictures of other children being abused and told her that abusing her proved that he loved her but her own father didn’t. He added that she would have to do this to make men love her.
Layla’s mother worked full time but Ken didn’t. She remembers if she was in the house alone with him she would steal alcohol from the drinks cabinet ‘to lessen the pain.’
She was taken to see a GP because she damaged the skin on her genitals by scrubbing herself with bleach. She has since discovered that the doctor’s notes indicated suspected sexual abuse, but no action was taken.
When she was 10 years old, Layla had a sex education lesson at school and understood what Ken was doing to her. She made a comment to him about it, and shortly after he left the family and moved abroad.
Layla’s behaviour at school declined over the next few years. She was sent to the school counsellor and it was noted that she was sexually active at a very early age. Layla said she had no understanding about normal relationships with men. She says she was promiscuous and drawn to abusive relationships. When she was a young teenager, she became pregnant and had a termination.
In the following years, Layla attempted suicide several times and spent time in psychiatric hospitals after being wrongly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She suffers from complex PTSD and flashbacks and is recovering from drug and alcohol addiction.
However, she is now focused on gaining a degree with support from mental health professionals. She runs a survivors group and is pursuing the prosecution of the abuser to help protect others from him.
Because of her own experiences with the criminal justice system, Layla considers that communication between police and victims needs to improve during prosecutions. She adds that it is very important that any concerns raised by medical professionals about child sexual abuse are acted on.