Mae says she has only recently accepted that the abuse was not her fault
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Mae was sexually abused by a minicab driver.
When she was 12, a police medical examination showed she was sexually active, but no action was taken.
Mae describes a troubled home life, with a father who drank heavily, a mother who worked very long hours and a sibling who got in trouble with the police. She says she did not have many friends and was often lonely.
One day, when she was 11 years old, she was walking on her own, crying because she had been let down by a friend. A man in a taxi stopped.
The driver, Kaz, offered Mae a cigarette and invited her to sit in his car for a chat. He asked her why she was upset and about her family. Mae told him how lonely and unhappy she was.
Looking back, Mae says she can see she was desperate for attention and Kaz took advantage of this, asking her questions that revealed how vulnerable she was. He arranged to pick her up the next day, and offered her alcohol to drink. She accepted and says she was ‘showing off’.
Kaz drove her to a park. She remembers him being on top of her, raping her, and not being able to move. She knows she arrived back home, but had no idea how she got there.
The taxi driver continued to contact Mae. She says at first she thought he was her boyfriend but after a while, other taxi drivers got involved in the abuse. Kaz would take Mae to different locations where there were groups of men waiting. It would always end up with her being drunk, naked and raped.
This abuse went on for about six months. Mae stopped going to school; she stayed out late at night and was drinking alcohol regularly. Social services got involved and she remembers being present at meetings where her behaviour was discussed, but she says she was never asked directly about what was happening.
Some time later, Mae was taken into care and she told a key worker about the abuse she had been suffering. She was taken to a police station, interviewed on camera and given a medical examination. She remembers hearing it said that there were signs she was sexually active. She was 12 years old.
She was not told about any action being taken and she doesn’t think there was an investigation. She remembers feeling at this stage that she was ‘a slag and a criminal’, not a victim, and she says this feeling has stayed with her.
Mae’s mother fought to get her back, and she did return home, but did not receive any further support from social services.
She never saw Kaz again but she continued to be sexually abused by men, some of them taxi drivers, after she left care. At one stage, Mae went missing for a whole week. She was often stopped by police where she was clearly drunk or drugged but they let her go and did not make any attempt to take her home or ensure she was safe.
Mae says the sexual abuse has affected ‘every aspect’ of her life. She struggles to maintain friendships and relationships. She has suffered with depression, has self-harmed, attempted suicide and until recently, abused drugs and alcohol
She has had counselling and says she ‘has tried to make the best of things’, but she feels she was badly let down by the police and social services and their lack of response.
Mae firmly believes that responsible adults and authorities need to look out for signs of abuse such as truancy and changes in behaviour. She emphasises how important it is for the police to take allegations of abuse seriously. She adds that offering support to victims and survivors is essential.
Mae says it is only in recent years that she has accepted the sexual abuse is not her fault and she reminds herself of this every day.