Maizie thinks that children in care are too often seen as ‘a problem’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Maizie describes being abused and neglected during her chaotic childhood and adolescence.
As an adult, she completed a degree and now applies her knowledge and experience working with young people in care.
Maizie lived with her mum, who was a drug addict, and her stepfather. He was violent to Maizie and his own children, and he also sexually abused Maizie.
As the oldest child, Maizie tried to take responsibility for her siblings, until the children were all put in care. Maizie is not sure how old she was when this happened, but thinks she was about eight. She remembers ‘I was moved from foster placement to placement … I missed a lot of schooling … no one was helping’.
Maizie describes herself as ‘a naughty child’ and says all of her siblings had behavioural issues. She thinks this is why they were moved frequently and she became separated from her siblings for several years.
When she was about 12, she told her social worker that her stepfather had mistreated her, but nothing seemed to come of this.
By her early teens, she says ‘I was going off the rails’. She was skipping even more school, drinking and taking drugs. ‘My foster carers couldn’t deal with it … I just wanted love and attention. What I really needed was someone to talk to me, but no one did’ she says.
Maizie took an overdose at one point because she was so upset. Her foster carer said ‘Why did you do that? … you can’t be depressed – you’re too young’.
She saw a psychologist, but says ‘I didn’t want to talk to them. I made up a story and said it was an accident and so it all got left. No one was bothering about me so I didn’t see the point of telling of sexual abuse’.
During Maizie’s 10 years in care, she tried to get help. ‘Several times when things were difficult I would go to social services. I didn’t talk about abuse but told them I was very low.’ She adds that she did speak explicitly about the abuse to one member of staff, but it was not taken any further.
When she was 16, Maizie was moved to a foster placement where the foster mother drank heavily, kept the money she was given to spend on Maizie and neglected the children in her care. Maizie relates ‘I tried to talk to the social worker but she listened to the foster carer, not me’. She was told ‘If you carry on like this, you’ll end up like your mother’.
Maizie left the foster home and became homeless, sleeping in hostels. However, with the encouragement of one hostel worker, she carried on going to college. She adds ‘My tutor was very good. She tolerated it when I was late and made exceptions for me’.
She went on to university and as part of her course she studied child sexual abuse, which made her realise the extent of the abuse she had suffered. She recalls ‘It’s like I woke up … oh my god, that’s me. That was a very difficult time for me’.
This sent her into a downward spiral of drug and alcohol abuse, but she went for therapy. ‘I told my therapist everything. I stopped drinking and taking drugs and sorted myself out.’ She completed her degree.
Maizie still experiences anxiety, flashbacks and depression, and finds it difficult to trust people.
She now works with young people in care. She says ‘It’s difficult but I like it. Now I work with social services and the police, I can see how things have changed, but we still need improvement’.
Maizie feels very strongly that children should be treated with consideration. They should be taught about healthy relationships so they can understand abuse, and have access to a trusted person they can talk to. She would like to see more funding for therapy and more consistency with staff in children’s services. ‘I had so many different social workers’ she says.
She adds that when she learned on her university course about listening to the child, ‘that really stood out for me, because no one did to me’.