Maram says ‘I was vulnerable with no protection from people who were supposed to look after me’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Maram spent her childhood and teenage years in the care system, where she suffered sexual, physical and emotional abuse.
She feels strongly that institutions must be held accountable for failing to protect children.
Maram spent time in foster care and different children’s homes. In the second of these, when she was about eight years old, she was sexually abused by a male member of staff, who touched her genitals when he was bathing her. She says that at the time ‘I didn’t really understand it, but I still remember the look on his face’.
Maram was also physically abused by another member of staff in this home. She had told him she was going to complain about the way the children were treated, and he punched her in the stomach.
She describes the additional difficulties she faced as a black child in an environment that was predominantly white. On a practical level, there was no one to help her look after her hair and skin. On an emotional level, she says, it added to her feeling of worthlessness.
When Maram left the care system she was not given any support, but she had sporting talent. She says ‘The overwhelming impact of being in care is lack of self-esteem, you feel like you’re nobody. Sports saved my life and gave me something to do with my energy’.
She feels very strongly that organisations and individuals responsible for children must be held to account. She says ‘I want children to be protected, and people need to be held accountable for allowing any lack of care’.
Maram continues ‘A grown man bathing a young girl, completely unsupervised, should never happen. It’s affected me to this day’.
She believes there should be more rigorous checks on staff looking after children, including monitoring their social media. She would like to see better support and mentoring for children leaving the care system. ‘You’re just thrown out with no support’ she says. ‘You might go to university but where do you go in the holidays?’
Maram adds that it is important for staff in the care system to be trained to be culturally aware. ‘They do need to see colour’ she says. ‘When I left I had to learn to be black. That ties in with feeling worthy and proud of who you are.’
Maram says she thinks she has dealt with her experiences ‘quite well’ but adds ‘Lately I get quite emotional about what I’ve been through’.
She has children who are very proud of her, as she is of them. She is studying for a degree and aims to work with young people who have been through the care system.