Pierre says of the priest who abused him ‘We had no idea how to deny him, he had done so much for us’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Pierre’s parents were devoted Catholics who struggled financially.
A priest took advantage of their circumstances to sexually abuse two of their sons.
Pierre grew up in the 1950s in a large family. His parents were devout Catholics who instilled a great respect for the clergy in their children. His father worked long hours but he still struggled to provide the basic necessities for the children.
When Pierre was seven years old, the family moved house and he started going to a new primary school. The school was near to the parish Catholic church and the priest, Father Pete, often came into the playground and befriended the boys.
Pierre describes how Father Pete would cover his ‘favoured’ children under the ‘huge swooping cloak’ that he wore, pretending to hide them as a game, and forcing them close to his body. The priest selected Pierre and his brother for this attention, and Pierre now sees that this was the start of him grooming them.
Father Pete began visiting Pierre’s home, bringing sweets and other gifts. In this way he managed to establish a relationship with Pierre’s parents, who treated anyone from the clergy ‘like royalty’. Pierre says his mother was pleased because she thought the priest was providing support and spiritual guidance to her sons.
Father Pete arranged for Pierre and his brother to become altar boys, and at this point he began sexually abusing them. He continued to cover up his behaviour with jokes and expressions of affection towards them.
Pierre relates how the priest began touching them increasingly more intimately. ‘It had crept up on us and we didn’t know how to get out of it’, he says.
Father Pete started to take the boys to stay in the monastery, and then on a trip overseas. These occasions allowed him to escalate the abuse; he began masturbating Pierre and his brother and making them touch his genitals. He then raped Pierre, while his brother was in the room.
Pierre says that as he and his brother began to understand what the priest was doing to them, they felt ‘guilty and dirty’. They talked about how they might be able to try and stop him, but given their circumstances and their parents’ religious devotion, it was very difficult for them.
After four years of regular sexual abuse, it ceased when Pierre was 13, and his family moved away from the area.
Two years later, Pierre told his mother what Father Pete had done. She reported it to senior clerics. Father Pete admitted the abuse and expressed his remorse. The church representatives expressed sympathy towards the priest and he was allowed to continue working in the church.
No one asked Pierre and his brother about the abuse, or apologised to them.
Throughout his adolescence, Pierre says, he felt angry, guilty and ashamed. He lost respect for anyone in authority and his performance at school declined. He started smoking and drinking alcohol. He found it difficult to go out and make friends, and he questioned his own sexuality, which caused him great despair.
As an adult, Pierre has struggled with depression and anxiety, and experienced a number of stress-related illnesses.
He has managed to achieve a successful career, and he says playing sport has given him a ‘helpful escape’. However, he feels the abuse robbed him of attaining much more in his life.
‘It’s left me with an overwhelming regret of not fulfilling my potential … and that carries with it a burden of guilt that I haven’t provided adequately for the family’, he says.
He adds that he thinks it is likely Father Pete abused more children, and he still feels guilty that he hasn’t done more to protect others.