Rhys says it is vital to make children aware of the risk of online sexual harm
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Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Rhys grew up in a very conservative household, where people didn’t talk about ‘non-traditional’ things.
Uncertain about his sexual orientation, he was drawn to online chat rooms where he was groomed and lured into meeting an older man who had posed as a child.
Rhys’ parents both had health problems and the family were short of money. This made him feel isolated growing up. He had good friends, but at times he struggled with them having a more ‘normal life’ than he did, with healthy parents.
In secondary school, Rhys began to question his sexuality. At that time, nothing was said about gay people and this made him feel he was not ‘normal’.
In his early teens, Rhys began talking online to someone called Angus, who appeared to be the same age as him. He says ‘I thought I had met someone like me, someone who understood me’.
Rhys agreed to meet up with Angus, but when he saw a man in his 50s waiting for him, he ran away, afraid he was going to be kidnapped. Back in the chatroom, Angus made a joke of it, saying it was his uncle who was at the meeting place they’d arranged.
Rhys says he still does not understand why, but he agreed to meet Angus again, who was a male in his 50s. He says that sexual contact took place, but he did not really know what was going on.
About a year later, one day at school, he was called into a senior teacher’s office where he was met by the police. There had been a police operation and Angus had been arrested.
Rhys describes the shame and confusion he felt. He had not heard of paedophiles and was horrified at the prospect of being interviewed by the police, and his parents and friends finding out what had happened.
He was taken in a police car to be interviewed at a location outside his town. His parents were not in the room, but were nearby and he was worried about what they might hear.
He was relieved to hear later that he did not have to go to court. His interview was used as evidence to secure a conviction against Angus, who received a prison sentence. Rhys is pleased that Angus has been stopped from hurting anyone else.
Although he felt at the time he had no one to talk to, he says he now realises he had ‘good people’ around him and that his parents and teachers would have listened. He did speak to a safeguarding officer and a counsellor in school.
Rhys says ‘I’m pleased it all came out eventually and the person being locked away … obviously I wish it had never happened, but it did'.
He emphasises the importance of sex education that acknowledges difference. If he’d known that relationships can be more than heterosexual, he would have felt more comfortable about himself, and not gone online.
He adds it is essential to keep raising awareness among children and young people about the possible dangers of chat rooms and other online forums. He would like all children to know they have someone to talk to about abuse.