Royan says ‘We should learn to listen to what children say … I didn’t scream loud enough’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Royan was put in care when he was two years old.
No one believed him or took any action when he reported he had been sexually abused.
Royan knows from his social service records that he was on the at-risk register and had been hospitalised with severe burns. His mum was an alcoholic.
He was placed in a children's home. When he was about 10 years old, another boy of the same age sexually abused him. The boy, Stanley, was bigger and taller than Royan. He masturbated over Royan, then punched him and threatened to hurt him even more if he told anyone.
Royan was scared, but a few weeks later he did tell a member of staff. This person ‘brushed it off’. He reproaches himself for not making more fuss.
After this, a member of staff called Dennie began sexually abusing Royan. He would cuddle Royan and touch his inside leg. Royan would try to push him away and the other boys saw what was happening and mocked Royan.
Royan tried to stay away from Dennie, by locking himself in his room. He ran away from the home on a few occasions. ‘I didn’t feel I was anyone, in the home’ he says.
When he was a bit older, Royan moved back with his mother and brother for a trial period. He says his brother was always physically aggressive towards him. ‘He was not a nice brother really, but I loved him.’
One evening Royan was in the same bedroom as his brother and some of his brother’s friends. His brother made Royan masturbate in front of all the boys, and then told Royan to masturbate him. His brother threatened Royan that he must not say anything.
Royan went back into care. When he came home for a second time, his brother forced him to perform oral sex. A couple of years later, Royan told his mother about this. She slapped him and swore at him and said he was disgusting.
‘No one ever believed me, and it hurts’ he says. He adds that it is still painful for him that he spent a lot of his childhood in care while his brother was at home.
Royan describes how he has been affected by his experiences of child sexual abuse. He struggles with anger and says he ‘can’t handle rejection of any kind’. He has no relationships with his birth family and has been homeless at times.
He is happily married with children. He says ‘I was lucky I found my wife. She keeps me on the straight and narrow’.
Royan says he came to share his experience because he hopes it might help improve protection for other children.
He has also decided he would like to have counselling. ‘It’s time to move forward and seek help.’