Scarlett tried to talk to a priest about her abuse but he told her ‘don’t make a fuss’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Scarlett was sexually abused as a child and teenager.
She became pregnant twice before she was 16 but none of the professionals who knew this took effective action.
Scarlett grew up neglected in a chaotic family. Her father spent time in prison and her mother suffered with mental health issues.
She remembers frequently being left alone as a small child with her baby sibling and the police were often called by neighbours who could hear her sibling crying. Both children were in and out of care in their early years.
When she was about six years old, her mother took in a lodger called Dylan. He was 17 years old and had been in the care system. He became the children’s carer when their mother was at work.
For several years he sexually abused both children. He also spent time in prison and his probation officer warned social services that it was not appropriate for him to be in charge of children, but no action was taken.
When Scarlett was in her early teens, she told Dylan that she wanted him to stop sexually abusing her and says she was really surprised when he did.
She began a ‘relationship’ with a new boyfriend who was violent and beat her up. She had a difficult pregnancy and had to go to hospital, but says that no one asked her any questions about how she had become pregnant at the age of 14.
At the Catholic school she attended, Scarlett started to talk to a priest about what had happened. He told her ‘don’t make a fuss’ and sent her back to class.
Around this time, Scarlett’s mother remarried. Dylan was no longer living with them and for a time, Scarlett says, she felt safer. But then her mother started working at night, and her stepfather, John-Paul, began grooming her and tried to kiss her.
Social services were involved with the family and Scarlett told them what her stepfather was doing. She says they did not seem to believe her and suggested the family should go together for counselling. Her mother said they didn’t need to, and no further action was taken.
Scarlett became pregnant again. She left home, had the baby and then moved back in with her mother.
In her early 20s, Scarlett was receiving counselling. She tried to talk to her mother about the sexual abuse she had suffered in her childhood, but her mother refused to believe her. Soon after, Scarlett reported the abuse to the police in the area where she had been abused, but she did not hear back from them.
Several years later, she made another report to the local police where she was living. She says this time, the police ‘were really good and took the time to listen’. After several weeks, they interviewed her, and eventually Dylan was prosecuted and received a prison sentence.
Scarlett says that when cases like hers are being investigated, it would be helpful to the victims and survivors to be kept informed of progress, even if it is just a phone call to ‘touch base’.
She adds that professionals in schools, hospitals and churches should always report any concerns that children are at risk.
The trauma Scarlett suffered as a child has had a major impact on her. She suffers with PTSD, flashbacks and various physical conditions. She feels that she ‘never got on in life’ and doesn’t have a career to fall back on.
She sees a social worker regularly and is on a waiting list for therapy.