After a court case she describes as ‘brutal’, the man who sexually abused Sofia was found not guilty
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
Sofia was groomed and sexually abused by a member of cadet staff.
He was acquitted after his criminal trial.
Sofia grew up in a ‘normal’ family with loving parents. She was ‘well provided for’ and attended a good school. She was ambitious and adventurous, and she jumped at the chance to join the cadets when they gave a presentation at her school.
At first, Sofia achieved highly in the cadets. She remarks that she did feel different to some of the other cadets; she saw them as more ‘worldly wise’ whereas she describes herself as being quite naive.
When Sofia was under the age of 16, a senior member of cadet staff began texting her. She remembers feeling concerned about how he could have got her number, and assumed it was from the cadet records.
Sofia had previously met this member of staff in person. ‘He was very professional and I held him in high esteem.’
At first, the messages were friendly. But, she continues, ‘They became increasingly inappropriate, making comments about my appearance, my breast’. She says she knew it was wrong on some level but she adds ‘I was not at all streetwise and I was taken in by him … stupid, 15-year-old me’. She wonders ‘Is this why he singled me out?’
After a while, the member of staff told Sofia to meet him. On one occasion she got into his car and he drove to a wooded area and sexually abused her. ‘I was horrified, disgusted by it’ she says.
‘The obedient thing that I was, I followed him back to his car and he dropped me off.’
Sofia describes feeling confused and violated but also ‘under his spell … he was charming and you almost felt flattered’. She recalls how when he talked to her, it was always about himself, and he would stress upon her that she must not tell anyone about the abuse. He said he knew ‘dangerous people’ and added ‘You’re the one that’s going to get in trouble’.
The member of staff carried on messaging Sofia and one day he raped her in his own home.
Sofia is sure that other adults in the cadets knew what the member of staff was doing, because of comments they made to her. ‘I felt there was no way out for me because of the shame, and fear of not being believed’ she says.
The sexual abuse and rape by the member of staff continued for a number of years until Sofia left the cadets.
She had previously been a good student, but she struggled with her A levels and did not achieve as highly as expected. At university she says ‘I seemed to get on with things, just locking it away in the back of my head’. But because of her experiences, she felt different to her peers, and found it difficult to make friends. She still has problems trusting people.
A few years ago she received a message telling her that another cadet had reported that the member of staff had abused her, and asking Sofia if she was willing to report the abuse by him too. She also discovered that another member of cadet staff had tried to take action about the perpetrator’s behaviour but had been threatened.
Sofia says she didn’t hesitate to make a report to the police. ‘I thought this was my chance … it won’t just be my word against his, there are other people saying the same thing.’ But the case took a number of years to go to court.
She describes the trial and cross-examination as ‘brutal’. The member of staff said that everything he did was ‘consensual’. He was found not guilty.
Following the trial, Sofia says she ‘hit rock bottom’. She suffered from flashbacks, anxiety, depression and had a breakdown.
Sofia had therapy, and during that time she decided ‘he is not going to get away with this, he is not being allowed to walk free ... I know what he did and a lot of people know’.
She has since heard that the Ministry of Defence has accepted liability. She says it was ‘huge for me that someone in power has said “Yes, he did what he did and we believe your version of events over his”’. The perpetrator is no longer allowed to work with children.
She comments ‘The shame and guilt is on him now, not me, I lived with it for 20 years. I want people to know what he did’.
Sofia has concerns about the culture in the armed forces. She would like to see more rigorous safeguarding training and for organisations to have nominated individuals who are responsible for acting on any concerns about children.
Because of her experience in court, she also feels strongly that the conduct of defence lawyers should be moderated to protect witnesses.
Sofia has a supportive husband, family and group of friends.