Solange came to the Truth Project to report something that others might not feel is significant
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
The experience of being ‘groped’ by an adult man when she was 12 years old has stayed with Solange.
Since her daughter reached the same age, she has felt increasingly troubled and angry about it.
Solange attended the Girl Guides in the 1970s and was working towards a first aid badge.
The instructor, Mr A, was a member of St John Ambulance. Solange describes him as ‘very highly regarded’ and not someone who people would imagine ‘would do anything inappropriate’.
But during the sessions, Mr A was ‘very hands on’ in his practical demonstrations. He would ask the girls to lie down in view of the others, so he could ‘have a good feel’ of the girls bodies.
The girls were taken into a store cupboard, and told that part of the First Aid badge assessment was to identify any hazards in there. When it was her turn, Mr A inappropriately cuddled her from behind. She says that she ‘didn’t feel comfortable’.
Solange didn’t tell anyone at the time about Mr A’s behaviour because, she says that she thought ‘in my innocence, maybe he was just giving me a cuddle’.
It wasn’t until she had her own daughter that she realised what had happened to her was wrong. ‘It makes me very angry now’, she says.
Years later, Solange confided in a friend, who told her that Mr A had abused her in the same way. Another person she told simply said ‘But you’re alright, aren’t you?’
Solange recalls two other incidents of men preying on her when she was a teenager. They did not involve physical contact but verbal sexual suggestions.
She says that she is ‘reticent’ if people get too physically close to her, especially men.
Solange would like people to understand how common child abuse is, and how it can occur in places where you would expect your children to be safe.
She says that child protection measures are important, because if there had been another person in the room with Mr A, he would not have had the opportunity to sexually abuse young girls.
She adds ‘I’d like him to be held account. He thinks he’s got away from it.’