Sometimes Theo feels he doesn’t want to live, but he tells himself ‘Keep fighting – don’t give up’
All names and identifying details have been changed.
Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.
After Theo was taken into care, he experienced and witnessed sexual abuse in children’s homes.
He is frustrated and annoyed to have been told his care records are not available.
Theo says his dad worked long hours to make a better life for his family, but his mother was extremely cruel. She particularly targeted Theo among her children for physical and emotional abuse, locking him in his room, depriving him of food and battering him.
‘I was lIke a doll – you would get chucked around the room’ he says.
One day at school, he was taken to an office where two people spoke to him. He now knows they were social workers. Over the following eight years, he says ‘I bounced in and out of children’s homes’. During this time, he experienced sexual abuse and saw other children suffering in the same way.
When Theo was in secondary school, his dad gained custody of him. He says that by then he was behaving badly, bullying other people and getting into trouble. He later spent time in prison.
Theo struggles to talk about the sexual abuse he suffered and witnessed. He is still triggered by situations and smells that bring back disturbing memories. He says there are times when he feels so angry he wants to drive his car into a wall. He has abused alcohol in the past.
Theo has tried without success to access his care records. He is frustrated and disbelieving that there is apparently no information about his childhood and the years he spent in care.
He would like to see more awareness-raising about child sexual abuse, and for it to be regarded as a matter of public health, like drug abuse. He adds that local authorities should have a more consistent approach to child protection.
He has had a ‘heart to heart’ with his dad about his early life, which was helpful, and this prompted him to share his experience.
Theo adds that he is grateful to his wife who has stuck by him, even when he was in prison.